Our Love

I was in the middle of rush

Then you came without talking

I was entertained with fuss

Now you come with the talking

 

The feeling is surreal and deceiving

I got no regrets but you’re concealing

You were afraid thought I’ll be leaving

But then again I talked with the talking

 

You showed me the things I want

I showed you yours

There I seed and plant

It grew beautifully with thorns

You said that night "I love you"

I believed and said I do too

This love we love is only but a few

But I love this love and so do you

 

You stayed and really believed

And thought it was inspiring

I was always a fool but never deceived

Now you’re with me never forget it has no ending

Our love was tested by time and space

And people who talked but we didn't care

"I Love You" I said and touched your face

Just stay with me, it's my life's prayer

Reviews

[Schatzi]

Hello Christian Bonoan,

Such a beautiful sentiment . . .

Thank you for sharing!

Kind regards,

Schatzi

[Hebe]

you convey the feeling of love very well ..... it has a simplicity to it....lovely poem

[M.A.]

You captured love is this piece I think. The last few lines really stuck with me. Thank you for sharing.

[Coyote Poetry]

Love is like a flower garden. Need care, water and attention.
"Our love was tested by time and space
And people who talked but we didn't care
"I Love You" I said and touched your face
Just stay with me, it's my life's prayer"
When we love someone for real. we remind them daily. They are our reasons for living. Thank you Christian for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Valentine]

Some may not like the way you express yourself, we all learn as we write and also read others writing. I never studied how to write poetry, I just put words on paper. Keep writing. Valentine

[J.M. Wise]

I feel that the diction was a little lacking and the grammar was not fully developed, but there are a few gems in there. Maybe you could say "there I sewed a plant--it grew beautifully with thorns". Not bad but I think you are capable of more

[barleygirl]

I'm not crazy about this love message. It feels like it's jumping all over the place, instead of a smooth laminar flow with one idea leading logically to the next. In the first stanza, the beloved is not talking, then soon he/she is talking & in the next stanza, he/she is concealing. In the next stanza they are both showing themselves. What is it really? I'm just not feeling this cat & mouse game as being the true meaning of love. It sounds like games between two people. It feels like peek-a-boo. Where are you? I don't see love this way at all, but I think you have described the games many play as they convince themselves they are "in love". Sorry for my not really liking this very much (((HUGS)))

[Christian Bonoan]

It's ok if you didn't like this poem
I saw your point and maybe that's why I called this poem "Our Love" and not "Love" because it is one's specific love story. :) anyways thanks for this review :)

[D Connolly]

"You showed me the things I want, I showed you yours, There I seed and plant, It grew beautifully with thorns" is my favorite part. It reminds me of the lies I've told and the ones I believed in order to keep someone around and call it "love". Nicely done

[Anjali]

Christian, very beautiful poem on love~ tested by time yet expressing your love or rather committing to love.

[Christian Bonoan]

Thanks for this review! I appreciate this so much!

[Neal S]

Once again, nice work Christian.

[Christian Bonoan]

Thanks for this review :)