The Man Who Couldn't Cry

Just words.

                                   

                                  The Man Who Couldn't Cry

The old soldier told me. You can win some and you can lose some. You will feel like a free God and you will know the walls of prisons. Many kind of prisons. Life is a constant teacher. Life will teach you. Dead things cannot be brought to life and every action done and words spoken. You own them.

My father drank one bottle of rum for 40 years. He would sit alone and fall into the irony of the silence where old men fight old battles he cannot win. He told me often. Slow and easy Johnnie. Life comes fast and hard. You can knock her down or try to understand her. I fought all my life against racism and I tried to control my anger. War and blood make the berserker lose control and they find dead-end and prison. I knew peace only in Korean and the Vietnam war. War is where deadly men taste blood and cannot return. I hold no anger toward the world. I decided my journey.

My friend the Sergeant Major was ready to die.  The whisky had finally done her job. I have known him for two years and I watched him die slowly and painfully. He stopped taking the painkillers months ago. He told me often. Whiskey deaden the pain better and I feel alright. I have been drunk for 40 years and soon. I will find out if there is a heaven or a hell? He was a Texas born, drinking and hell raising man. He told me month ago. Please be a good soldier and do your duty. I asked what he needed? He smiled and he told me. I want no pity and I need you to bring my whiskey and beer to my home. Johnnie, I can't walk no-more.  The retire military nurse came daily and clean-up the Sergeant Major. She understood the needs of the old soldier. Me and many old soldiers sat daily with him. His last words to me. Simple and hard truth. You pay for every sin. You will know love, you will know hate. I never showed emotion my friend. Never cry for living or the dead. I guess you and my old friend will cry my tears for me. Johnnie, leave the service. If you stay-in. You will become me and I'm dying and I understand too late. Every person I killed, every battle I fought. I repeat in my damn nightmares. Whisky, wars and bad decisions. They will leave you cold and dead before you are bury deep in the soil.

Today I'm the old man. I left the military and I followed the directions of the great men I have known. I told my children and anyone who will listen. You pay for every sin and every deeds done. Walk slowly and lead with concern and kindness. You decide your life. Bad or good?

                            John Castellenas/Coyote

Author's Note

Just words.

Reviews

[.]

Another profound write, Coyote. Full of wisdom with a moral message to be adhered to.

Sometimes the demons just take hold and never loosen their grip. And it is these demons that bring about the destruction of otherwise kind, gentle men.

A well written, emotional tale. Grounded in realism and tragic circumstance. Nicely done.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you my friend. I appreciate the comment.

[.]

Always welcome.

[Tony Jordan]

The politicians sleep soundly in their beds while the men at arms fight the war for the rest of their lives.
Your message is a strong one John and wisely passed on without lecturing.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Tony. Old men don't lecture. They tell you the truth.

[Tony Jordan]

yes they do.
welcome Coyote

[sonnie ibadah]

"You will feel like a free God and you will know the walls of prisons. Many kind of prisons...." This speaks to me in so many levels. You sir, are such an amazing writer!

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Sonnie. I appreciate the comment.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

A story with learning within Coyote. Sad but with a modicum of reality and hope as the protagonist moves beyond the bottle.

[Coyote Poetry]

Even whiskey can't make the world okay. Death will come one day and thank you John for reading and the comment.

[Jon Roggie]

This made me think of my last night with my Dad. We got him back to his house.

[Coyote Poetry]

Similar story for many. I have known many good leaders who ended-up alone. I wish I spend more time with my father. Thank you John for reading and the comment.

[Jon Roggie]

This hit a note.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Your words are never "Just words" Coyote- they are sunbeams of wisdom and truth. This story of your Sergeant Major who couldn't cry is amazing. You let us see every face, hear every word, feel every feeling. He taught you a most important lesson before he died. Thank you for teaching it to others...Great story.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Annette. If we pay attention. Can learn from anyone.

[Carol Cashes]

This was awesome. To write about an individual without describing their physical characteristics, yet the reader still knows them, is rare talent. I enjoyed this piece immensely and will have this in my head as I begin my work on the Patient Advocacy Committee at the VA. Well done.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Carol. I had great mentors in the military. Most of the old soldiers who knew war. They were the best teachers to the young soldiers.

[Zugzwang]

Great story. I like the way you used simple words to convey the simple but profound thoughts of the characetes.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Zeitnot. I appreciate the comment.