Evil Within

I wrote this poem in high school and it was published in a journal. I am not one to usually write poetry, so this is the only poem I have ever been proud of. :)

The pressure in my chest is building,

I feel as if my scream could break the ceiling. 

Why do such Evil deeds happen?

And why should I even go askin'?

I know I will receive no answer,

Evil elements flow through the Earth like cancer.

Why must all Good creations come to an end?

Even if it is just silly pretend.

Just once I would like to see,

Justice given right in front of me.

So I can believe Good people do sometimes win,

Even if it is denying a man to see his kin.

Is this not wrong as well?

Why is it Adam and Eve had to fail?

It would've saved a lot of pain and grief,

And no one would ever know defeat.

Author's Note

I personally love this poem, but I would love some honest opinions! :)

Reviews

[Calibaster]

My English teacher always tells us to fail frequently, because if people didn't ever lose, they could never appreciate winning. I really like this poem though, because it gets right to the point! It's true, it seems like good never prevails, but good will. I'm pretty darn sure of it. :)

[ChikHaley64]

Thank you so much! :)

[Taylorgwebb]

This poem offers an insight into the author's perceptions of good, evil and justice and informs us of her paradigmatic approach emanating from a lay Christian attitude. The author fails to question this approach, instead lamenting what is seen as a failure of good and justice in the face of evil, thereby further underscoring her black-and-white outlook, also underscored by the capitalization of the adjectives of good and evil. Their adjectival nature is thereby transformed into their root identity in the poem, which can be categorized by its naivete, brevity and simplistic rhyming scheme.

[Scott Metro]

Companionship....Adam turned his back on God because he didn't want to be separated from Eve at any cost..he needed her..he cherished her..she filled the lonely in him.
Good people do win sometimes.....life is stress..all life has stress..without it we would be weak..even the flower has stress to rise against gravity....a constant, stressful ordeal.
Enjoyed your suffering..
Scott

[No one]

Waaauw love the structure and the word choice, one of the few poems i've read all the way to the end! Nice job :)

[ChikHaley64]

Thank you! That means so much! :)

[Baby Ricochet]

Why is there evil in the world? Well, why wouldn't there be?

[Chris]

a unique premise and thought-flow. A good question too

[ChikHaley64]

Thank you so much!

[PokemonFan#1]

This is a very beautiful poem. I really love rhyming poems the best of all.
Great work, keep it up~

[ChikHaley64]

Thank you so much! I am a huge Pokemon fan by the way! ;)

[PokemonFan#1]

Yay~ Another Pokémon fan! XD

[ChikHaley64]

Lol. I still havent bought X or Y because I havent had the money! :(

[PokemonFan#1]

I got X the night it came out. I'm a total fan-girl freak XD Some day I'll get Y. It's a super duper awesome game ^-^

[Not Your Typical New Yo..]

A poem that had been written from the heart. I remember my poem getting into the school journal, and I'm the type of person who'd thought I couldn't write poetry, but I feel my true calling is storytelling. Nevertheless, thanks for sharing.

[ChikHaley64]

Thank you so much! :) It is the only poem I have ever been proud of because I never thought I could write poetry.

[SquinklaPsyOps]

There are so many possibilities in this poem that would have to be answered in poem formation

I confess without shame that I have the intention
to hijack your dreams
if no exceptions being the only invader
I leave you at liberty to me that I care
what you do with your time

You only live once