The Silver Sound

I am a proud flute player myself. And this is the first poem I had ever written! But it has been edited/changed over time thanks to constructive criticism :)

Like a whisper of the wind

Light as day

or dark as night

The soulful sweet sound

flowing through the atmosphere

Bringing peace to every being

A gifted talent

The proud rhythm

Merry tunes

or deep tunes

It makes your toes tingle

and your head bob

It softens the loud

or lengthens the soft

The beautiful, bold music

plays on through everyone's soul

Author's Note

Constructive please :)

Reviews

[Verin]

"It softens the loud

or lengthens the soft"

This portion of the poem feels awkward to me. I don't play a musical instrument of any sort so maybe the lengthening of the soft is just what gets me. Are softer notes typically shorter on other instruments? The poem as a whole is good. Another line i find to be awkward and out of place is "a gifted talent". The double use of tunes in back to back lines also feels as though one of them should be a different word. Perhaps a sort of song or something to that effect? Maybe a reference to a musician that would use the instrument such as a bard? Just a little something added to really push it home.

"The soulful sweet sound" is my favorite line in the entire poem. It's likely due to your superb use of alliteration.

[Johanna]

If I had to decribe this poem with one word I´d say peaceful. It was really pretty and peaceful and a joy to read :) Flowed so well and gave me a good feelng inside, thankyou Coby!

[Bailey C. Writing]

So sweet! Thank you so much :)

[Sami Khalil]

"Give me the flute , play the music of eternity."Gibran Khalil Gibran said in that sense...You have penned a great one...:)...............

[Bailey C. Writing]

Your reviews are too great!

[Sami Khalil]

My pleasure...:)..............

[Jazmen]

Honestly I feel like its a 3-legged table. And to complete or master this idea or poem is illustrate more detail of the beautiful sound of a flute. Your words work wonderfully until the end where you spill the beans; "It's the beautiful, bold music of the shining silver flute".. at first I thought the poem would be a description of a mystery key, some symphony of soul, which it very much could have been if it'd not ended abruptly with the tattle-tale line there, in my opinion the only way that line would flow with the magic of what you're describing so shortly is if it rhymed, otherwise, keep the mystery and build the sound of the flute in your descriptive words.
Made me think, thanks for the read.

[Just Brooke]

I love poems about music! poetry is music in its self. This is a very neat write. Thought out and formatted well. amazing word choice and eye-catching title. Beautiful write! =]

[Bailey C. Writing]

I haven't been on in awhile, sorry...
:) Wow, thanks you guys, all the reviews mean a lot, especially such positive ones! You all just made my day today :D

[Adelia Alighieri]

This is beautiful. Flutes are magical, they always attracted me. You moulded its music in a fine verse. Good job.

[Zoe Leah]

I want to listen to some flute music people.

[Daydreamer54]

Wow u expressed this wonderfully! It's very poetic! kepp up the good work! :)

[Revolved]

This is beautiful! Wonderful, very descriptive! You described the wound amazingly.