Micro Miniature Prototype PillsA Story by David L. Nelson
Humorous fact sheet provided by a fictitious manufacturer of miniature pill products
Micro Minnie Prototype Pill Instruction Insert
Do you suffer from an overwhelming desire to ingest a pill or a series of pills? Soon after ingesting a pill do you feel the impulse to take another, followed by another, and yes, even another. We have the unmitigated, unadulterated cure which flows in perfect harmony with all your addictive urges.
Try our newly manufactured and highly colorful Micro Minnie Prototype Pills. These marvelous sub-miniature emotional enhancement compounds are engineered using science. They are so tiny, you can take plenty, and all the while wonder, if you have taken any. While the effects are seemingly sublime, there is little point in questioning what they are.
Even though the secret scientific substance resting deep within the very core of each pill takes effect immediately, you may not notice any particular side effects for weeks on end, and even then, they are little more than a remotely bothersome nuisance.
Hasn’t life offered you enough challenges? Isn’t it time you escaped from the drudgery of your job and or routine? Haven’t you suffered enough abuse from coworkers and insensitive family members brash and caustic remarks, day after exasperating day? Has apparent reality become annoying. The benefits of Micro Minnie Prototype Pills, can not be overstated. Each pill provides a relaxing six seconds of pure pleasure, then it’s time for another.
Manufactured in higher doses this medication would be considered illegal, but when produced in the form of sub-miniature micro tabs and distributed via our efficient underground network of pharmaceutical distribution centers, the process seems quite logical and yes, ethical.
Our standard of purity is unexcelled, furthermore, our quality assurance facility is state of the art and each pill is inspected twelve times before it is packaged, labeled and shipped in extremely compelling and seductively stylized, fashionably chic pill boxes. You can always depend on Micro Minnie Labs for sensationally relaxing products in time of emotional crisis and or nauseating boredom.
How can you tell when you have taken enough? Why bother, just take another and continue on in this manner until you have finished the entire bottle, then walk, run or have someone drive you to your local pharmacy to fetch another bottle, then simply repeat. Why not pick up several!
It is always better to immediately reach and maintain a threshold dose of our product than to be found climbing the walls as a result of not using enough MMPP’s. By maintaining a significant ratio of our precisely engineered chemical component dose to blood level saturation, life will indeed seem worth living again.
Available in a Megablend of six hundred different ingredients and as many flavors and twice as many candy colors, these unique polychromatic pills are a virtual kaleidoscope of medicinal marvels. Not only that, but, they take up very little space in your pocket or purse. What’s more, they are convenient when ingesting surreptitiously, due to their small size, no one will even notice you have just medicated yourself, even with repeated doses. Perfect for the office or taken during classes to freshen up for final exams.
MMPP’s, apparently possess infinite shelf life. We have had, cases of patients who have taken our aged and outdated variety, and still report no effects whatsoever, right up until time of death.
Also, there are no ill effects when taken with alcohol no matter the quantity or quality, as standard dosage is irrelevant, and somewhat ineffective when following label instructions be sure to read the fine print of other products on your pharmacists shelves.
MMPP’s produce immediate results in infants too. Put a smile back on your child’s face in a matter of seconds. Remember, a happy child creates less stress in your life, freeing you up to take your pills on schedule.
Micro Minnie Prototype Pills are potentially, non habit forming when used as a placebo for extended periods of time. They are however, highly addictive when taken with food before meals, after bed time and prior to rising in the morning.
Always consult you physician if you begin to feel you are running low on Micro Minnie Prototype pills. Use common sense when attempting to reduce consumption or minimize intake as this can result in unpleasant symptoms which should be avoided under penalty of law. A far better situation results from increasing dosages each day incrementally upward by a percentage in excess of previous levels.
Thanks for using Micro Minnie Prototype Pills and remember our motto. “Made small for your convenience, more is better”
© David L. Nelson 5-9-2007 Ironworks Publishing & Focus Fine Arts ®
© 2013 David L. Nelson
Added on February 8, 2008
Last Updated on February 23, 2013
David L. Nelson
AboutI write poetry, fiction, short stories, essays and novels. Working in varied genres which span the spectrum, from humorous fiction to serious political essays. I am presently composing a book of poetr.. more..