The Black Man (An Endangered Species)

I'm a black man

 as black as the night skies

with anger in my blood and fire in my eyes.

Great warriors and Kings are predecessors of my genes,

They were leaders of nations, armies and regimes.

They made weapons of bronz and jewelery of gold,

They were courageous, intelligent, cunning, and bold.

With their blood passed down to me,

I too am a strong warrior or a noble King.

I am a black man.

The fantasy of many womens dreams.

I make miracles with my hands

by the sweat of my brow

I have swagger, strength, and rhythm

and I'm well endowed.

I have a broad nose that can smell success

and strong leggs that move

with energy and finess.

I'm too damn cool and nothing less

with my smooth a*s walk and my suave a*s dress.

I'm a black man

figure me out if you can.

I'm the ninth wonder of the world,

I'm a mystery of a man,

We once stood tall like rain forest trees

now here I am

a Black man

an endangered species.

 

Reviews

[Brjden (Bridge-Den) Cre..]

Dope! Very well put. I loved the passion and strength, but just when it's building momentum and I'm getting pumped, it ended. I would like a piece like this one to continue and get harder and stronger and louder. It's a great write as is, but longer and to go harder, it would be a masterpiece! Good write though.....

[Michelle Stinson]

I don't know if you're still on here, but I was revisiting some of my old writing sites after getting distracted by college, remembered you reviewed my work and decided to check you out. So here I am reading you.

I love that you're exploring yourself, especially with the pride and strength you've shown here; my only complaint is that you've used very common metaphors to convey your images - black as night - 9th wonder of the world. I think you could have reached beyond these images, because you are more than common. It would be like saying your skin is like dark chocolate - a well-used analogy. Why not go for something no one has ever heard of before, like, oh, I don't know, "I am a black man, sleek as the panther, crouched patiently, on urban streets" it would go well with your later metaphor of the rain forest.

What I'm trying to say is, I think you need to push yourself harder, and go deeper for images that reach beyond the ordinary. That are more you than anyone else. Some of this poem does that, but in other parts it gets, for lack of a better way of putting it, it gets lazy and falls back on the easy images. The 9th wonder of the world could describe so many things. Who or what is exactly and could ONLY be you?
I hope you do not get angry at me for this review and see it as an act of love for poetry that I say this. You are very good, and this poem is good. But it could be magnificent.