The Eyes Glaze Over

An experience I had with a farm animal.

We saw you laying on the ground with no strength to stand, and we thought we could help. I looked into your eyes. They held life and the fire life brings.

Flies surrounded you, and sat uncaring on your eyes. They greedily and patiently awaited your death, for your ultimate loss would be their momentary gain. I swatted them away, so that you may have some reprieve from their spiteful nature, but they would fly back. They would not be denied such easy prey.

You were afraid. You did not know us, and you did not know our intentions. I can't imagine the pain and fear you felt in those moments. The helplessness of being stranded and immobile. To be at the mercy of life's cruel nature; the thought is nearly too much to consider.

We gave you medicine. We did not know your ailment, but we hoped it would be cured. In your animalistic terror of us, you could not see that we were trying to save you. I watched you weakly flail your four legs against the tall green grass. It saddened me to see such an innocent creature reduced by an unfair and unfeeling sickness.

We got you up on your feet. It was strenuous; you were very heavy, after all. But through determination and with concrete resolve, we got you to stand. You put pressure on your front feet, and we supported your back. You were shaky and sickly looking. Your legs were withered by malnutrition and a lack of activity.

We gave you water. The bucket was filled with clear, pristine, life giving water. We put it to your lips, but you would not drink. We urged you, begged you to sip of it, but you would not. You knew, somehow. You must have. As you leaned against our vehicle, we pondered what we should do next.

We tried to save you. I swear, we did everything we could. When you started to shake violently, we did not know what to do. We attempted to keep you standing, but our weak arms could not support your full weight. You fell back down with a soft thud and a crinkling of the grass underneath. We tried again to get you to stand; it was so important that you stood on your own feet. But you would not try anymore. You did not fight any longer.

As you lay down on the grass, I sat down next to you. The outcome had become certain, and I wanted you to know that I was there. I kept the flies off of your face. I ran my hand through your short fur as you stopped shaking. You stared into my eyes as you stopped breathing. In a matter of moments, you were no longer here. It was confusing; yesterday I'd seen you grazing the field and eating grass as any cow is wont to do. Now you lay before me lifeless. Warm, but cooling. I watched as your eyes began to glaze over with the chilling film of death.

I wondered what you saw. I wondered what far away horizons and fantastical sights you could see with those eyes, now with no life or fire. Did you hear voices? See mountains of gold? Or just deep, unrelenting blackness? I wished you could tell us what awaits behind the harsh, uncertain veil of dying. Perhaps we could be more content in life.

True to my selfish nature, watching you die was not what scared me the most. As I gazed at your body, what scared me was the entwined nature of our fates, and more so the inevitability of them. It frightened me to know that the path to the unknown had not been set only for you; I would tread down its bends as well. I would someday lay where you lie now. It could happen tomorrow. Someone may try to help me, or they may not. Either way, it will end the same for me as it did for you. I will be here one day, then I will be gone the next.

I like to think that someone will be there when I die. Someone who will sit down next to me and brush the greedy flies from my face. Someone who will hold my hand and assure me that my trip will be glorious and free from any ill fare. I cannot be certain of that, and that might be the worst part of this unnerving fear. But I am certain that I'll feel what you felt in those final moments: the resignation, the acceptance.

My eyes will glaze over someday. I wonder what I'll see.

Author's Note

Any tips or criticisms are more than welcome!

Reviews

[Nusquam Esse]

It is a powerful topic, that most people will experience at one point or another. There is something which is off about this piece of prose; but I am having a hard time putting my finger on it. I have read it several times, and I still feel like I am grasping at straws. Ummm, for one, a good copy-edit would be wise. Check word choice and punctuation usage, to try and make it flow better. Other than that, I 'think' that the perspective this is using is a bit too detached, as if the language used by the narrator is neutering, so to speak, the potential of the story. Wish I could give you something more definitive. As I said, this has a lot of potential; if nothing else because it shows death in an intimate perspective.

[McKinleyA]

I was worried how this would come out, as I wrote it quickly and did not give it as much time to sit as I should have. I have a hard time gauging my own work, so I wondered how the flow and general quality would feel to other people. It really helps me to hear things I need to improve, so thank you so much for taking the time to help me out. I've written down yours and Immortal's tips and criticisms and I'll use them to edit the piece to a more satisfactory state pretty soon.
And of course, thank you for reading it in the first place!

[SquinklaPsyOps]

Very interesting approach to the story, the title perfectly describes and prepares the reader for the content.

[Darkimmortal]

Wow.... this was so deep. Firstly you used the word "life" twice in the second sentence, so you might want to change one of those.
Secondly, I applaud you for this story. The majority of stories that I read tend to skip over this aspect of death. Most writers tend to tiptoe around this view, which is the fear and the suffering of some innocent animal or person but you took it head on and that makes this is a really powerful piece of writing.
Although, as I was reading I felt that something was off, and now I can see that Nusquam noticed it too. However, for me I think what was missing is the fact that you never mentioned what animal it was. The lack of knowing whether it was a cow or a pig or a sheep kept me from getting the mental picture that I needed and at first I thought it was a deer that had been hit on the side of the road. It was only when I went back and read the caption that I realized what you were talking about.
So really the only thing that I can suggest is that you add the description of the animal, you don't have to outright say it is a cow but at least give the readers a hint...
I feel as if I am really saying nothing helpful. It is a really good piece of writing that invokes a lot of emotion so you have all of that going for you. Sorry that I couldn't have more input.

[McKinleyA]

I wondered too whether I should be more clear on the animal and the situation in general. I have a hard time distinguishing the line between tasteful ambiguity and sloppy writing, so thanks for helping me to find that line! I'm glad you could enjoy it despite its shortcomings.
As for being helpful, everything, literally anything at all helps me to better myself as a writer. Thanks for reading and reviewing this, I really appreciate it!

[Nusquam Esse]

Hahaha, when I first read it I thought the main character was an alien or something; and the thing that was dying was human. I THEN noticed the description, and re-read it. I actually didn't mind that vagueness, because it let me imagine the aliens... :P

[Darkimmortal]

LOL an alien would be pretty cool, but then i would want a description EVEN MORE. :p and glad I could help Mckinley! :)