Parents Love and Protection

A "Parents Love and Protection"
is like waves thrusting
at the ship we all undividedly trust
the weeping of the waves
remind us of child`s crying for the mother
that loneliness and fear
a splash of anger
Us, under ship lights, strangers
and, then, the father storm came
lost, sunken and forgotten wrecks we became

Reviews

[Bear]

Very powerful and the imagery is great, I love the nautical feel of the piece. Now there is one thing that I must point out, I am not sure many people will take your title into consideration when interpreting your poems meaning. Without the title, this is a great poem about the sea so you should have either post the title so it is with the body of the poem or include a line to tie the meaning together:

A "Parents Love and Protection"
is like waves thrusting
at the ship we all undividedly trust
the weeping of the waves
remind us of child`s crying for the mother
that loneliness and fear
a splash of anger
Us, under ship lights, strangers
and, then, the father storm came
lost, sunken and forgotten wrecks we became

This is my new favorite of all your work Bravo! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!

[Satoshi IroTzu]

Papa-Bear.... Everytime I tell you that I appreciate your comments which I do. I will have to repeat myself; I appreciate your informative, constructive comments. I cherish them.

About the title and the poem... I wanted to leave the feeling that storm was a parent of those waves. Their mother was the sea, but sea could not deal with that big ship so it needed a help from her spouse (the storm).

[Bear]

Yes I got that from the title but when you don't post the title with the poem as well as in the title box many people won't take the time to read the title at all and they would miss your intent, I would go and post the title with the poem.

[Satoshi IroTzu]

I appreciate your advice, Papa-Bear. I learned a new way of doing it as well which is the most important. Much appreciated.