The Coming of Death

the beginning is whispered, the one liners are whispered/shouted/chanted, and the stanzas are chanted.

The Coming of Death
Can you hear it?
Can you smell it?
Can you see it?
Can you feel it?
Can you taste it?

It is here.

Hear the screams,
Smell the smoke.
See their dreams,
Start to choke.

Trembling.

Feel the pain,
Taste the blood.
Cry the rain,
Start the flood.

Die.

Feed the lost,
Give your mind.
Worth the cost,
Soul will bind.

Immortality.

Draw your knife,
Cut your skin.
Give your life.
Scream within.

Live.

Pray for life,
Fear your fears.
Cut the knife,
Cry no tears.

Forgotten.

Build the lies,
Start the fires.
Break all ties,
Dark desires.

Forbidden.

Kill your heart,
Bleed your soul.
Watch it start,
Pay the toll.

Lost.

Hear the screams,
Smell the smoke.
See their dreams,
Start to choke.

Are you ready?
It is here,
Are you ready?
Are you ready? (background) Here.
It is here.

Can you hear it?
Can you smell it?
Can you see it?
Can you feel it?
Can you taste it?

DIE.

Reviews

[Fire Mage Andrea]

Quite powerful and dark. The strongest part comes at the end in just one word - "DIE". It seems more powerful and sort of scary because it's in capital letters so really catches the readers eye.
It has excellent rhythm too.

[Loona Pearl]

i really liked reading this very well put together and strong from start to end. great job!

[Vincent]

i found a queer sort of eloquence in the raw construction and emotion of this work.
fantastic job.

[KAREN BROWN]

you did a great job on this very very well put together of everything. a lot of truth in it to thank you so much for sharing this with me karen

[[v]anilla [s]lick]

Wow. Very deep in thought and very well put together!
It makes me think a little! Very nice!

[Tally]

Fantastic verse - short lines but very very strong. I like the rhyme, sometimes that's not easy to do. Very good and very strong.

[Hitman]

The visual, the construction, the rhyme...i liked all of it. Great stuff Davia.

[Matt Shutler]

Really cool!
I love how every other line in some of the stanzas rhyme how it all ties in together!
Great job!

[Fantasyfairy]

An amazing poem, I can almost hear the chant that it makes. I love the structure, the one liners make it what it is, so good. I love this stanza best:
"Kill your heart,
Bleed your soul.
Watch it start,
Pay the toll."

Full of pain and wraith, and words that lead to visions and feelings, so dark inside. Wonderful hun XX