The Architect

stripped bare

You chipped away

Somber, meticulous

 weakening
my foundations

Until I 
crumbled

Hollow
your voice echoed,
Brought my body

collap.sing

To

the

ground

And when I lay
a shattered mess

You

stood in the midst

 

Eyes gleaming

Sharp

 

Impenetrable

 

 

Then turned
away

[without a glance]

 

I was the building
but, you

 

were 

The Architect

Reviews

[_mal]

I really like the way this is laid out. The ideas and language used were lovely, but not sure I liked the pause in collapsing, it threw the flow a little for me. It's crazy how much of an affect certain people can have on the person that cares about them

[Melody Telleria]

I love the despair in this, the plea to be recognized and that someone will see how a master crafter was at hand. Its such a great way to describe a situation so common and sad, when we are broken and torn through the words, hands, and actions of another.

[Hippy]

very nice. I really enjoyed the use of a period in the middle of collapsing it adds a pause which shows despair. it is a shame the architect gave up on something that could have been a masterpiece. Oh well a far better artist will probably finish the work one day.

[Celestial Witch Child]

Beautifully written. Very creative with wonderfully sculpted imagery.

[Coyote Poetry]

A amazing poem. Allowed the reader to feel the building and destruction of a human life. I like the way you described each strike at the foundation of thoughts and life. The ending was perfect. No weakness in the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[eglantine]

couldn't have said it better

[Moonflower]

Thank you both, much appreciated!

[Jordan A. Wilson]

food for my eyes. good work.

[Moonflower]

Thanks :)

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

Gave me serious chills. This was slow methodical torture. Fear swelled up inside as I witnessed the demolition of spirit. This is one that gets under the skin.

[Moonflower]

Always interesting to hear your perspective on my poems. Glad to hear from you again, thanks.