That Moment When

This is a sequel to the "The Girl With Freckles" poem.

Autumn rolls along

and winter comes about.

There's that moment when

everything is just right.

The birds are singing,

the wind is calming

and the love is filling

the air.

However, there's that moment when

the birds aren't singing

and the wind is speeding up.

Your life is in a whirlpool

with no way out

but down.

All of a sudden,

a light shows a door.

You open it

and you are free.

Inside that door,

there is something,

No, someone in fact

walking through a bushy maze

You wonder who that

person could be.

You get closer to this

Person, you realize

somethings.

She turns around,

you meet eyes

with this stranger.

You instantly connect,

wondering where this

person has been

your whole life.

You see her eyes,

twinkling in the moonlight

like stars at midnight.

You notice her smile,

a smile as bright

(and beautiful) as a diamond.

You see her personality,

her friendly, compassionate,

warm-hearted self and

you wonder if she's an

Angel, so down to earth

and genuine.

There's that moment when

everyone has it.

For me, I had

that moment when

I met her.

Author's Note

I wrote this about two weeks ago and haven't had the time to post it. Sorry :( Let me know what you think about this one.

Reviews

[zunie frost]

i really like these lines "you see her eyes,
twinkling in the moonlight
like stars at midnight "
you did a great job ..... you defined this girl so beautifully ...
very well written .... 10000 points me on this one !!!!! you really deserve it !!!!

[William Liston]

This is a great poem. You made an almost perfect transition from describing a beautiful day to describing a woman whose grace and charm could bring any man to his knees. Also, your repetition of the phrase "that moment when" added a special sence of relatability to the poem, or, in other words, a special touch that compels the reader to think of that "perfect" moment in his or her life. The only thing I didn't like was that you used quite a few cliches. Overall, I'd give this poem a 9.7 out of 10. Great job.

[Jordan Smith]

Thank You for this review :) I really appreciate it

[Dixie Slaughter]

I really like how it started out sweet but showed how things can greatly change and maybe not for the better.. Good write ☺️

[Ruth]

Ah, how bless...I love the way this unfolds in several layers, much enjoyed Jordan :)

[SheIsMe]

Such sweet words. I love the descriptive words regarding her and the whirlwind that is life. Keep on keeping on.

[Raylin Couts]

A perfect description of what love at first sight should be. Absolutely wonderful piece.

[Kira]

Again, very beautiful. Really love your writing. It's so sweet but simple. Something that could make anyone happy to be alive.