Asphyxiated by Three Words

A pantoum.

 

Caught in a swirling, spiraling masquerade,

She is asphyxiated by three words.

As she falls through the morning fog,

Her heart beats a melodious cadence.

She is asphyxiated by three words.

Her lungs cry for the redemptive air –

Her heart beats a melodious cadence.

As her lips taste her desire,

Her lungs cry for the redemptive air.

As she falls through the morning fog –

As her lips taste her desire –

She is caught in a swirling, spiraling masquerade.

Author's Note

If you didn't catch this, it is about sex. Or rather, the feelings that come the morning after having sex.

Reviews

[siri]

hmmm i know guys and how they are dicks and i know girls to extent its nice to read an elaboration from this point in a girls perspective nice piece! im gonna go read more!!!!

[Laura E. Aranda]

cadence
I love that word
so what were the three words, 'I had sex'
or the usually
'I love you'

[fireblossom]

Oh...I thought it was about beach volleyball.

Well, it is a nicely written piece whether for volleyball or sex. It is from a very organic point of view. It is especially a woman's point of view. Like the earth opening and cherishing the planted seed and all of that :-)

Sweetness.

[Legion]

The circulation of the thought of what came before is beautifully done. Well crafted this is. Good work.

[Patient Poet (Yos)]

I love this one, you capture your feelings so good Yos

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

Wow!!! wow!!! I"m glad you put it to words, because I have felt this more than once before. It's like you want to embrace the world, show everyone how spellbound you are! lol. but....this can also be the other way around, if you feel guilty after the matter....but overall, Iliked your take on it!!!

[robin]

It's amazing that fog could wrap you up in a sexy dust devil. And redemptive air, it's all hope and prayer. I like "As her lips taste her desire" yup definitely a springboard for me. Super fun! Now where did you put that mask?

[Thomas James Martin]

This poem works--even if I did have to look up "pantoum." Nicely done

[Rosary]

good use of vocab in such a raw supject

[Andromeda]

okay, so both of yours turned out freakishly good.