Innocence?

What exactly is it?

Anna knelt beside him in the snow. She took care to fold her skirts over her knees and pet her curls over one shoulder. The wind blew, and snow sprinkled down from the pine leaves over their heads. Aaden hung his chin, his back against the rough bark and the snow sunk through the fabric of his long pants.

                “Can I tell you a story?” She asked. He pulled at the back of his neck where the snow had fallen down his shirt.

                “Ya.” He said, “sure.”

                “A soldier came to town with orders to kill all but the innocent. He came across a young girl, dressed all in white and told her, “Cut out your eyes, so you won’t hear them suffer and I can spare you.”

                So she did.

                He came again five years later with the same orders, Kill all but the innocent. The man came across a young woman dressed all in white with carved out eyes and told her, “Deafen yourself, so you can’t hear them suffer and I can spare you.”

                And she did

                Again he came to the village five years later with the same orders. Kill all but the innocent, and again he came upon a woman dressed all in white, with ears that bled and carved out eyes. He said to her, “stitch your lips, so you can’t frighten people with your screams, and I can spare you.”

                She did.

                Then, years later, the soldier ordered a younger man to the same village with orders to kill all but the innocent. There he saw an old woman dressed all in white who had carved out eyes and ears that bled and lips stitched closed. He knelt before her, and laid a knife in her hands. He said, “Cut out your heart, so that I can spare you.”

                And she did.”

                The wind howled through the ridges when she finished, and Aaden looked at the rips in his knees.

                “What does that mean?” He asked. When she smiled, it was only briefly and with one corner of her lips. But her eyes closed. He hadn’t noticed when they were kids, but she had long, dark lashes that barred nicely over her cheeks.

                “I don’t know. My gift-“

                “-told you to tell me.” He nodded his head.  “Right, sure, that makes it all clear.”  

Author's Note

Just a practice I wrote for two of the main characters in my current book the cursed prince. They're older than in the first book, but I think it captures their relationship perfectly. Any and all help to improve my writing will be graciously appreciated.

Reviews

[Trayew]

I would imagine the story Anna tells Aeden is about perception. Guilt and innocence is usually all about perception and is always muddied with preconcieved notions and bias. The story itself is interesting though because even if I haven't read the story these characters come from you get a small sense of who they are. Not enough to make an honest apprasial of them but I get the feeling that's not what you were going for anyway. So I think it's great, well written and smooth although the part at the end confused me. The Gift? I assume it's also related to The Cursed Prince.

[Melissa Rose]

It was a character practice so your right I didn't plane on getting in depth. But yes her gift is mentioned a few times in the Cursed Prince.