the beginning

Lucy woke to the sound of her little brother Joshua talking in her ear about how she was so busted. As she chased him out of her room and began getting ready for the first day of school after spring break she knew exactly what her brother was talking about, apparently she hadn’t been as quiet as she thought she had when she was sneaking through the kitchen window at 4am last night. As she walked into the kitchen she only had to look at the furrowed brow on her father’s face to know that he was absolutely furious, her mother was no exception her face was so red she wondered if she had been using the cheap face cream again, but no her mother was just as furious as her father if not more.

Sitting down to her breakfast Lucy was about to make up a story as to why she had been sneaking around the house at 4am when her mother turned to her and said that she was tired of it. Lucy gave her mother a confused look. “Don’t give me that look Lucy, you know what I’m talking about, I’m talking about your temper tantrums, fighting with your brother and sneaking out when you think we are asleep, we may be old and stupid in your eyes but in reality we are far from it. Enough is enough you father and I have talked about this and have decided it’s time you learned how to behave, we are sending you to boarding school” her mother said.

 

“YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!” Lucy said, she stood up so abruptly she caused the cereal bowl on her knee to topple off and smash on the floor, she felt like screaming in her mother’s face but knew that that would only make the situation even worse. “And before you start hatching a plan to run away again you should know that your bedroom window has been nailed shut, and we will be locking you in your room until we take you to the airport tomorrow” said her father with an angry yet somewhat solemn look in his eye. Lucy knew at that moment that it had been her mother’s decision to send her away and her father was just going along with it like he always did. Lucy never saw her father as the authority figure in the family; it was her mother who wore the pants in this family.

As she sat contemplating her fate Lucy could think about nothing but the fact that she was stuck in her room the last night before her parents flew her off to some boarding school, she couldn’t believe her mother was doing this to her, surely sneaking out of the house every once in a while and arguing with her brother didn’t warrant being flown half way around the country away from her friends and family. Apparently her mother didn’t see things that way, all she cared about was getting her to behave like the perfect daughter, like that was ever going to happen.

When she finally fell asleep that night all Lucy dreamt about was a beautiful mansion type building which she thought her school might look like as she was looking at the building she noticed a strange looking boy stood in the entrance, as her dream self-began walking toward him he said something she couldn’t hear, she was about to ask him what he was saying when all of a sudden he was in front of her grasping her tightly by the shoulders, her dream self-began panicking telling him to let her go, just before she woke up from the dream she heard the boy say something which sent a chill down her spine, stay away they’ll get you if they find you.  At that point she woke up, sweat causing her hair to stick to her face.

That morning all Lucy could think about was the boy in her dream, how could she dream of something like that, something wasn’t right and she could feel in deep inside, she just couldn’t think of any reason to be dreaming about a random guy telling her to stay away, and why would anyone want to hurt her, she was a naughty child but wasn’t every teenage girl misbehaved sometimes.

She put the dream of that night in the back of her mind and began packing for the trips to the boarding school where she would to her dismay be spending the next two years of her life. She wasn’t worried however; surely her mother wouldn’t leave her half way across the country for two whole years. No, she was bound to come collect her after a few weeks. She hoped.

At 10:15 Lucy Joshua and her parents began their two hour car journey to the airport, Lucy didn’t say a word to either of her parents, she figured giving them the silent treatment would make them feel guilty about shipping her off to boarding school. Her brother was upset that she was going, “It won’t be the same around the house without you Lucy” he had said. Deep down Lucy knew that Joshua was the only person she really was going to miss, after all her friends hadn’t even replied to any of her texts, apparently being shipped off to boarding school meant their friendship was over. Lucy was nervous when they got to the airport, her parents knew how much she hated flying, she chose not to say a word to them even when they were saying farewell at the gate.

She hugged Joshua and leaned down to whisper in his ear, “I’ll be back before you know it even if it means breaking out of my soon to be prison and hitching a ride back.” she whispered. As she said her final farewell she walked through the security barrier turning back only to give Joshua a reassuring smile to tell him she would be okay. As she boarded the plane a single tear ran down the side of her cheek, the fact that she was leaving finally hit her and she began silently sobbing as she took her window seat on the plane next to a tall Asian guy wearing headphones.

 

Reviews

[Meat of Dog]

I like that you dropped straight into a conflict. I think the parents here are supposed to be the antagonists but I actually admire them. Few parents these days actually hold their children accountable for stuff. I feel like unless there’s a good reason (mental illness, trauma, etc.) children should be held accountable for undesirable behavior like sneaking out of the house. This is a good start; I’m not sure how to feel about Lucy yet though so I’ll have to read on. Also it was a little heartwarming that Joshua was worried/ saying he’d miss her. It’s so true; siblings fight a lot but inside they really love one another.

Suggestions:

“throughthe kitchen window” Needs a space. Also here: “cheapface cream”

“enough you father” Your father.

“feel in deep” Feel it.

[Fiction]

oh crap i didnt even realize lol, sometimes i type so fast i dont hit the space button hard enough. thanks for pointing those out much appreciated :)

[Meat of Dog]

No problem!

[Fiction]

i checked the parts you mentioned and they all have spaces in the right places on my screen? thats strange

[Meat of Dog]

Weird, I wonder if it was a WC hiccup or something.

[Fiction]

are there still no spaces when you look ??

[Meat of Dog]

No, weird.

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good opening chapter. Gave the character some history and I liked the set-up of the story. The dreams leading to the nice ending. Thank you for sharing the excellent chapter.
Coyote

[❀ Gabriela ..]

Great first chapter!! The mysterious dream is certainly ominous! Lucy and her brother saying goodbye was both sweet and sad, a lovely sibling bond there. It was a little short, but it left me wanting to read more. Keep up the good writing! :)

[Fiction]

aaw im glad you liked it hun. yeah there are 7 more chapters which im about to edit one of them totally forgot to add a character in lol. hope you enjoy the next few chapters :)