The Gravity Chain Part 4- More Obstacles

"You have GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" I yelled in frustration as, right in front of us was a 20' hole that took up the entire hallway in front of us.

"James what are we going to do now? We can't go back since we can't get across and we can't get across here either." Sara stated with a frown on her face. "Sara" I said, my tone dead serious. "Do you trust me? I mean do you trust me with your life?" I asked my crush. "Of course I trust you, but why did you ask that?" Sara asked me.

"I have a way to get across this. But you need to have absolute trust in me before we do it." I replied happy that she trusted me so much. "Get ready because this will be a strain on me." I told Sara as I picked her up bridal style. " Gravitate mutata!" I said as I once again used my "chain". I then walked straight up to the wall of lockers and continued walking up it.

"James how are you doing this!?" Sara asked, mystified by what she was seeing. "I'm focusing a gravitational pull to my feet so that no matter what angle I walk at I'm always walking the way my gravity pulls me." I explained as I started walking across the wall directly over the massive hole. "Ugh. This is. More taxing. Then I thought." I said breathing hard since the strain of carrying myself and Sara was taking its toll on my body.

After almost falling in twice we finally made it across and I put Sara down. "Do you even know how foolish that was! You could have gotten yourself killed!" Sara yelled only to have to catch me as my legs gave out.

"Why. Why did you push yourself this far when you could've just left me and be long gone by now. Why James?" Sara asked with tears streaming down her face. I could never stand to see Sara cry so I said the one thing I could say at a time like this. "It's because I love you. Sara I do these things to keep you safe and if it means I get hurt, but you're unharmed then I'll gladly take your place. I love you Sara."

Author's Note

More coming soon. Hope you like it. Fox-

Reviews

[MAD ENGLISHMAN]

A declaration of love. rescue a damsel in distress. Magic feet, this story has it all.
a little advice. try to find different ways to end speech. eg. too many sara said, I said etc.
Again separate speech.
Otherwise a good, if short, continuation.

[FireFox9]

Thanks I'll try. Fox-

[MAD ENGLISHMAN]

You're doing good work. Keep it up.

[FireFox9]

Once again, thank you. Fox-

[Nusquam Esse]

there is too much repetition in here, just look over it, and see where you can cut out repeated words. ex. 'in front of us', and the overuse of trust. A little tweaking of the punctuation would be wise, read it aloud and where ever you would normally pause, consider adding a comma or semicolon.

[Bluefire]

"You have GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" I yelled in frustration as, right in front of us was a 20' hole that ok I up all of the hallway in front of us.
Suggestion-> "You have GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" I yelled in frustration as, right in front of us was a 20' hole that opened up the floor of the hallway in front of us.
~*~
This is good. It makes me wonder,
Do bugs have this Chain power?
Because they can walk on walls too, and possibly some lizards too.
It makes me think of how the earth benders in Avatar The Last Airbender, how they learned their secrets from the earth and the badger moles.
But then, this seems more than just a skill picked up from the earth but a psychic sort of thing too.
Very interesting, well done. ^^

[FireFox9]

Nope it shall be explained in part 6. Part 5 is already up. Oh an I'll be correcting that mistake it was supposed to be something else but the stupid auto-spellcheck botched it up.

[Bluefire]

xD Hate spell check.
Okay, I will keep an eye out for part six and read part five soon. ^^

[Chris Atkinson]

I am enjoying this very much, its enthralling and your writing is fantastic