Chapter 1

Chapter 1

 

 

As the sun sets, it leaves behind a sticky heat, but replaces it with a bitter breeze. As the sky changes from its sweet caramel texture, it soon starts to become a dull colour showing its limitless distance into the undiscovered canvas we call the sky. A boy stares into this canvas gathering his thoughts. The boy was sitting under the shelter of a great willow tree, engulfing him like a mother would a child. The mother overlooks the valley, protecting all in her gaze, the town of Domine being the focal point of her wondrous vision. The town began to give off an amber glow - a sign that the boy should be on his way home.

At the top of the valley, he could see the various symbols of protection: two of which were Mount Zuma and Mount Ifesen. People believed that these Mountains worked with the Great Willow Tree to protect the town and everyone in it. The boy led down amongst the wild flowers, he loved them especially in the summer, all the colours would surround him and the worries would just fade away. His favourite were the rydonia flowers as they were electric blue in colour and the centre had a bright yellow. The field was filled with these and small patches of red would appear in the fast amount of rydonias.    The boy filled with emotions, many of which were new to him, let go of a single tear glistening in the faded sunlight. As the sun finally set, giving way for its brother, the moon, the boy began to rise to his feet and let out a mournful sigh. The boy finally found himself venturing home, sadly pacing the dusty streets of Domine. However on his way an unclear figure began to emerge from the shadows, until eventually the figure became a recognised face.

“Why hello Damion, I thought I’d find you out here” said the rather concerned boy.

“What made you so sure I’d be out here?” replied Damion. “There could well have been a million other places I could’ve been, why was here such an obvious place?” The boy fumbled whilst trying to think of a suitable reaction. His silence continued but soon became an outroar of confused laughter.

“I know you too well Damion” he exclaimed. “Your sadness and loneliness does not escape my eye as easily as you would want to believe” he chuckled to himself before continuing. “They don’t call me Benedict the eye catcher for nothing”. His laughter and broad smile soon became enough to warm the heart of the unhappy Damion.

“I’d like to meet these people who call you that, Benedict my good friend”. He smiled but carefully eyed Benedict, observing his short, scrawny build. His scruffy brown hair, waving about like the sea in a harsh storm, showing its lucid lack of control. “Here you stand in your ripped linens and with your messed hair and dirtied face. So carefree and strong hearted. Most poor peasants would be in a constant dismayed fashion” Damion stood there with a grin before finishing. “But not you! No not you. You carry that so much beloved character I’ve grown up with, and you are still carrying it right now. How you do this I have no idea but I respect you more than you could imagine, more than my father can seem to understand” Damion looked to the floor and let out a sigh. “He still believes that I should stop conversing with you peasants and focus more on learning how to upkeep the family farm. As you know I am coming of age and I have to start training for the farm.”

“I know Damion, I know. Your father has never approved of you being with me and I know he will never approve of me being with you in the future, but you seem to overlook that and stay friends with me.” He looked into Damion’s eyes and asked “Why?” Damion looked back into the tree bark brown eyes of Benedict and replied,

“Because you’ve always been here for me, you’ve always been able to cheer me up, you always stuck by me no matter what” Damion looked to the sky and spoke. “My father believes that this behaviour is due to the fact I lost my mother as a young child, he believes I am stained with grief and disillusionment” he wiped a tear from his eye.

“You never knew your mother did you Damion” Benedict said moving closer to Damion.

“No, I was too young to remember her, my father said she died in the Great Fire of Domine. However he never told me what caused the fire” he looked puzzling at Benedict.

“I heard rumours”

“What sort of rumours?”

“Well?”

“Please tell me” He shook Benedict by the shoulders “I would like to maybe finally understand how my mother died”

“Ok, ok I will tell you” He paused before continuing “I heard that the town was attacked”

“Attacked? By who?”

“Nobody knows, it all happened too quick, lots of people died, and many went missing”

“Missing?”

“Yeah, lots of people just vanished without a trace”

“Does anyone know where they could be?” He looked desperate to know an answer.

“No, I’m sorry” he stopped and hugged Damion, “I know how badly you want to know about your mother, but I think you have to face it Damion, she’s gone, she’s not coming back” Damion sighed but suddenly smiled.

“Your right Benedict, you’re absolutely right. I need to move on from this, I’ve got a future ahead of me, I’ve got to think about my father for once. He needs me for the farm”

“That’s the spirit Damion!” He chuckled “Here you stand now a new Damion, with your finely sewn linens, with that green colour I detest, your perfectly combed hair and that smile. Go home to your father now, tell him your ready to learn the ways of the farmer, make him proud” He grinned at him.

“I will, I will make him proud.”

He began to walk away taking pride in his stride when he heard Benedict call to him,

“Just remember, this sadness you harbour will slowly but surely get the better of you, it will kill you inside, try and put these feelings aside and replace them with our friendship that alone will keep you happy” Damion smiled and called back.

“I will never forget those words my friend”

“And so you shouldn’t”

 

Damion:

Whoever knew that those words would be the most important words that he would ever say to me, and whoever knew, they would be his last?

 

Damion now with his new sense of pride carried on to walk but however this surrounding began to replace these with an unknown fear, a fear he had never felt before. He stopped dead in his tracks.

“Wait” he spoke to himself, “I thought I heard something” he stood there for a moment longer and gathered in the information from his surroundings, a noticeable fear made his body start to shake and shiver. “I must be losing my mind” he said very unconvinced of himself, “maybe it was the wind”. He took what could only have been two steps and froze to the sound of a load howl. “Whoa, oh god, what was that” the howl was answered by another howl almost immediately after. Damion felt a cold bitter wind pass by his face, he shivered and the fear he harboured became the feeling of terror. “Wolves, here, but why?” he was froze to the spot that he had claimed, the terror kept him fastened to that very spot. He looked around for a moment. He whimpered like a lost puppy. “Come on Damion” he said to himself “Suck this fear up, you need to get home to father” he convinced himself, and with that he slowly but surely began to press on.

Only moments had passed, the howling had seemed to stop when something moved in the shadows down a dark alley behind the Hunters Bow Inn. Something behind the empty barrels of ale started to move from behind and slowly out of the alley. Damion spotted this and soon became fixated on it. His lip quivered, this terror had returned to haunt him for another time, his legs turned to jelly, sweat began to wet his face. Soon a figure began to emerge, as it came closer Damion’s terror finally got the better of him and he lashed out at the unknown figure, the unknown figure at this returned this attack. Damion tried to aim for the face but the figure was to quick, Damion stood no chance at this point so out of desperation tried to attack any part he could, but the figure was too strong, it stopped his attack, its hand clamped down on Damions, it started to squeeze and squeeze harder. The pain in Damion became apparent, grinding his teeth, trying to cope with this pain. His hands began to throb, tears run down his face. But suddenly, the figure let go, Damion believed for a second he had escaped but then, Damion saw a flash, the figure was holding his throat. As he gasped for air the figure spoke.

“This will teach you”. Damion recognised this voice, but couldn’t speak; he couldn’t find the air to fill his now empty lungs. His vision began to blur, his colour began to become a dull blue colour and soon his eyes saw darkness. The figure loosened his grasp until a point where he just dropped his limp body.

“Wait?” the figure exclaimed “Damion?” he started to panic “On no Damion, Damion come on my friend come back to me” the figure began to shake limp Damions body, Oh no, I need to get you off these streets” the figure grabbed Damion by the base of his arms and pulled him into the Hunters Bow Inn.

 

Damion: You cannot imagine how this feels unless you’ve felt it before, your life flashes before your eyes, everything goes cold and remains that way, all this made me think, if this is heaven then I feel sorry for Mother. To think I could’ve been reunited with her, to feel her warm embrace as I enter God’s Paradise, to be in her clutches once again. However this is what I thought, just to find out how wrong I was, now that was a shock.

 

“Damion………Damion, come back to us……….hey, hey Mr Crockett I think he’s coming round” he exclaimed.

“Are you sure Aloysius?” Mr Crockett questioned.

“Yeah yeah come check for yourself” he said excitedly. Damion slowly opened his eyes trying to restore his vision until finally he could see two recognised faces.

“Mr Crockett? Aloysius?” he groaned and rubbed his neck, “W-What happened”

“Well um……it’s along story Damion” Aloysius said. He chuckled nervously before continuing. “Well…….you startled me; you attacked me so I, out of instinct, fought back” he chuckled “I sometimes forget my own strength”

“That you do Aloysius, that you do” chuckled Mr Crockett “That boys got a good ol’ bruise where you squeezed his neck” Damion sat up quickly.

“What! You strangled me! How could you” he said with anger in his face.

“It’s dark out there I couldn’t see who you were” he said desperately trying to convince him.

“The boys right Damion, even I would of fought back” backing up Aloysius.

“Hmmmmmm, huh, I suppose your right” he sighed.

“Forgiven?”

“Forgiven” he smiled at the worried Aloysius.   

“Hehe, good. So um, why the panic Damion?” he looked at him with obvious concern “What’s going on?” Damion looked at Aloysius with surprise.

“What’s going on? You’re really asking what’s going on. Seriously!” That familiar anger returned back to Damion.

“Whoa! Calm down”

“No I will not calm down!” he stood up sharply “Could you not hear that noise outside?” his anger started to become more oblivious to the two confused ones.

“What noise?” he questioned. Damion stopped for a second and raised a brow.

“What noise? WHAT NOISE!? Can you not hear the wolves?”

“Wha-”

“Wolves? Impossible my boy” interrupted Mr Crockett “With the Great Willow Tree and Our Mountains we are safe from those horrible creatures”

“But Mr Crockett, I know what I heard those were defiantly wolves” he sighed “You’ve got to believe me” he pleaded.

“Hmmmmmmm? Aloysius my boy”

“Yes sir?”

“Did you happen to hear anything, anything at all?”

“Nothing at all sir”

“Hmmmmm” he stroked his beard gently “Damion my boy, listen please come to your senses. No one but you heard these wolves, I think your mind is beginning to play tricks on you” Damion looked at the two still unconvinced but soon let out a long breath.

“I-I I guess you’re right, maybe it is playing tricks on me. W-wait?” Damion looked around, “what time is it?”

“No idea boy” answered Mr Crockett “I’d say coming close to midnight now”

“No! Um I’ve got to go Mr Crockett, Aloysius; my Father was expecting me hours ago”

“NO wait my boy your still…..” Damion had already bolted off out the door and out into the dusty streets. “Stupid boy, going to get himself hurt one day”

“I agree sir”

 

Damion bolted down the arenaceous streets, heart pacing, starting to take shallow breaths.

“Must get home…..to father” he said to himself amongst the shallow breaths. As he rushed down the streets and alleys the thoughts of the noises came back to him, but that didn’t worry him anymore, his thoughts all focused on getting home to the farm. But these thoughts soon diminished when the sounds of howling soon started to fill the streets.

“Ignore the sounds Damion, there only tricks of the mind” he tried to reassure himself but the howls gradually began to grow more frequent and in volume. “Ignore the howls, ignore the howls” a tear soon welled up in his eye, “This is real, I know it, I don’t care what people say, I know this is real. These sounds are too real for me to ignore”. He held his ears trying to block out the sounds but it was as if the sounds we’re all being transmitted into his head, “Please just stop! I can’t take this anymore” tears began to wet his face. “Wait……father, is he alright” he said to himself “I must see if father is ok” with one swipe he brushed the tears off his face and bolted as fast as he could to the farm. It was as if the sounds were following him, the howling began to completely fill his mind, filling his heart with fear. “Wait?” Damion stopped at a hault, “That…….that glow over the hill, no it can’t be” He rushed to the top of the hill just to be met by a roaring fire filling the fields, with a coat of smoke.

“No, no no no no no! Father” shock filled his face, and without thinking he rushed down in to the smoke. The thick blanket began to fill his lungs with miasma like smog. Damion coughed violently but was to worried to care, all his thoughts we’re focused on getting to the shack his father lived in. Damion looked as all his father’s hard work, the fields of wheat burning away the smog still filling his lungs. He started to become light headed, he started to stumble frequently, his eyes began to redden, his skin tanning red raw. His body began to ache, but just then.

“Wait the shack…… it can’t be” he rushed stumbling along to the shack, the thatching had caved in leaving an open tomb in which his father lay.  he burst through the charred door to see his father laying there in a most gruesome scene. His body tore to pieces as if a savage animal had ravaged his body, his body lay blackened and charred by the fire. “Oh no……f-f-father” horror hit his face and his eyes widened. “Father!” he screamed as loud as his lungs would allow him to, but just ended up coughing, “Oh god, I-“ he coughed violently “I’ve got to get out of here” he turned on his pivot but as he did the door frame collapsed and red amber ashes flew in his face causing him to fall backwards, he screamed in pain before realisation struck him “W-wait, I can’t get out” he panicked and stood up quickly observing the area to find no exit. “There’s no way out. I’m trapped” he stood there puzzling quickly in his head to find some sort of solution to this dilemma, but to no avail. “Well, I guess……. I guess I’m doomed” he keeled over, the sheer heat of the fire made him light headed and the smog entering his lungs was causing him to feel faint, his vision began to blur, body red raw. “This…..is….it” his speech slurred and his eyes became lazy.

“No Damion…. You will not sleep” a female voice spoke within his mind “You will survive, you will keep going”. Damion looked around dazed in confusion, he opened his mouth but nothing but a squeak exited his mouth, he tried to ask who this voice was, but nothing would come out. Suddenly Damion was blinded by an auroral white light coming through the collapsed door frame. The fallen charred pieces of the door frame hurled towards Damion missing him by mere inches. Damion still dazed and confused led there with exhaustion taking shallow and frequent breaths.

“Move Damion” the voice came again “Move, escape now” Damion began to rise up but stumbling to his knees, he could see his now easy escape, but his stamina was low and he was purely fatigued. However he found his strength and stumbled towards the exit, the shack began to crumble, and falling debris landed all sides of him. His determination was strong, but his body was weak but despite this he reached the now open door and fell flat on his face in the indurate soil. His mind began to think ‘you may have escaped the shack, but I have not escaped the fire’ Damion crawled his way through the fire,

feeling the heat and flames licking his body, he could see the fence. Freedom was in visual distance but not guaranteed. He finally, breathing the cleaner air, began to regain strength in his exhausted body, and clambered to his aching feet, and slowly but surely reached the fence. His breaths were still shallow but deeper than before, “I-I-I made it” a small smile of accomplishment appeared on his blackened face.

“Well done Damion, you have escaped the fire, but danger is still present” the voice returned to his mind.

“Who, who are you” question Damion.

“That, at this current time, does not matter Damion. You must understand you are still in danger”

“What kind of danger?”

“You saw your father Damion, you know the danger”

“But, what happened to him?”

“An attack, from a powerful foe, listen you must escape you must get away from this place as quickly as you can”

“But”

“No go now” the voice ordered. Damion listened to this authorised voice and climbed to his feet and made his way through the village. The fire had caught some small buildings and was beginning to spread; he looked around at the forsaken place and shared concern for all the people in trouble. Screams echoed across the village and cries filled the sky. Damion stopped at a sight that he will remember for all of his time.

“The willow tree, it has fallen, our sign of protection gone” thoughts flowed through his mind, wolves, fire, attack, all these thoughts hit him at once. “This is no ordinary disaster this is an attack”

“D-Damion, is that you?” a familiar voice filtered through the amber glow. Damion noticed a boy covered in scratches crawl from the alleyway.

“Oh dear god, Benedict!” He ran to aid his injured friend. “What happened to you?” Damion noticed a large gash on his chest and his throat.

“It…….was terrible” his breaths we’re shallow and he had an obvious sign he could not breath, “It came out of nowhere, the savageness, I was lucky to……..escape” he coughed up a large amount of blood.

“Escaped? Escaped from what?” he look into Benedict’s cloudy eyes. He just stuttered back at Damion. “Come on Benedict… stay with me” 

“W-w-w-w-w-w-w” his body suddenly became limp and lifeless. Damion kneeled next to him blood soak his linens, the sight, he will never forget. All was calm until suddenly a howl came from the sky and a dark figured landed on the limp Benedict. Damions eyes widened as he stumbled backwards to look up to a creature standing 6ft 8 above him. The whole body consisted of matt black fur, large blood stained claws came off its fingers and toes. Penetrating Benedict’s skin, the creature snarled and leaned down and ripped the flesh off the chest of Benedict. Blood spewed out of the now unrecognisable corpse of Benedict, his organs present to the naked eye. The creature stabbed his claws into the ribs of Benedict and took out his lungs to reveal his no longer beating heart. The creature with blood dripping from his fangs lunged into his chest and ripped out his heart, it began to chew at the organ as blood began to ooze out of the arteries. Damion looked in horror, his body quivered and his face becoming pale. The creature carried on chewing this heart until it was no more. Damion tried to stay completely silent but couldn’t help but retch at this traumatic sight. The creatures ears perked up at this sound and turned to see Damion lying there, the red eyes of the creature stared into Damions soul, it began to bare is bloodied fangs, it snarled and growled at him. Damion was frozen to spot fear paralyzed him. The creature leaned forward until it lunged at Damion its speed quicker than anything Damion had seen before, the creature just managed to swipe its demonic claws across Damions chest, leaving a tripled gash in its place. The creature stomped its large foot onto Damion now ensanguined chest, Damions head was force downwards to the dusty floor forced to look up into the creatures fierce look. The creature lifted up its largest claw ready to force into Damions chest, this would surely kill him in one blow. The creature readied itself but within seconds was forced of the body of Damion and was sent launching it the nearest burning building. Damion sat up but cringed in pain looking at the gaping wound in his chest. He breathed quickly and tears came to his eyes, but he looked up to see a hooded figure towering above him.

“Who are you” Damion asked with a stutter in his voice, the figure gave no response back but carried on looking into the void of the sky. A crashing noise came from the building the creature had been propelled into, and with that the creature stormed out of the building on all fours heading straight towards the hooded figure, however the hooded figure made no movement. Damion looked in fear and awe as the creature raced closer but the hooded figure did not even budge. The creature was close and the hooded figure suddenly burst into action the figure brushed its cloak backwards with its hand to reveal a women’s body underneath. The bottom half was clothed in black cured leather and the top half dressed the same, it was tight fitted to her toned body, revealing her perfect curves and cleavage. The face was still covered by the black hood but dark blond hair became present out of the hood. A small scabbard was present around the perfectly curved hips holding a small dagger. The woman also was found to have a long leather whip wrapped around her body. The whip was clearly made of leather but also a small silver point imbued delicately on the tip of the whip with a curious ancient pattern engraved on it. The woman grabbed the stiff leather handle of the whip and jerked at it until it unravelled from her body until it made a loud crack that echoed into the sky. She stood posed waiting for the creature watching its every move. The creature launched into the air towards the women and with that the woman spun around quickly the whip followed her until she stopped and the whip cracked around at the creature’s cheek, leaving an open wound on the face. The creature howled in pain and ran its long blood stain tongue across the wound, it shook its head letting blood droplets hit the floor, the creature and the woman began to walk clockwise in a circle both always facing each other, Damion got a glance at the woman’s face, she had a leather face mask covering her face from the top of the nose down, he also noticed her Han purple eyes focusing on the creature. They carried on circling, Damion watched to see who would make the first move the creature showed no patients and launched at the woman however again she spun around again to leave another wound this time on the top of the front right leg of the beast, the creature stumbled forwards and launch again this time catching her off guard and sent her tumbling to the floor, she had no time before the creature had her pinned by the shoulders. However she somehow seemed to keep her wits and stared the beast in the eyes. The beast snarling, dripping blood off the gnarled fangs, violently growling and breathing hot air onto her face. The beast prepared to lunge at what would be a final blow, however the women reached into her sheathe and pulled out the silver dagger, and stabbed it with anger into the beasts chest and started to rip it up the body and chest of the beast. It let out a long howl of pain before falling down. The wounds from the dagger left mysterious burns around the sides of the bloodied gash. The beast lay lifeless on the women for a few moments before she threw it to the side leaving it to lie in a pool of blood. Damion lay there dazed and confused of what had just happened, still losing blood quickly.

“Who are you?” asked Damion with a slur to his speech, the woman however laid back no response to his question. The woman had now stood up staring at the beast. She walked over to the beast, leaned down and jabbed the dagger into the jaw of the beast and tore a tooth from its mouth. She soon presented a string round her neck containing many other teeth with it. She jabbed a hole into the tooth and added it to the necklace.

“Excuse me” Damion exclaimed “Who are you?” she again did not respond and just turned to walk away. Damion watched as the women walked away into the distance disappearing into the fire. He sat there still in awe of what had just happened until it suddenly came to his mind he was still in trouble. He had to move quickly, he knew there would be more of them, and he knew wolves moved in packs not alone. He clambered to his feet but quickly fell to his knees, he was feeling weak, losing a lot of blood from his wounds. The burns rubbed against his clothes and made him sore, his feet were agonisingly painful. He looked up vision blurring, Damion couldn’t see much, but he could see enough. He sat there with tears in his eyes, trying to find the strength that he seemed not to have. Just when all hope seemed lost a familiar figure came running around the corner through the amber glow.

“Damion? Is that you?” cried out the boy. Damio n looked up to find it was only Aloysius.

“Aloysius…….is that you?” he slurred.

“Yes Damion it’s me, what’s happened to you?” he ran to his aid and knelt beside him.

“Wolves, they……they”

“Yes yes Damion I know, they are everywhere. You were right they are here” he paused and fixated his eyes on the bloodied wound “Oh no, Damion your hurt badly….I need to get you out of here” Aloysius put Damions arm over his shoulders and helped him to his feet.

“Aloysius…….I-”

“No, don’t talk, just focus on walking” Damion looked and nodded at him. The two walked slowly through the burning village; scenes of terror and gore were frequently seen. Bodies torn apart, buildings caved in, people charred black, scenes that would make even the strongest of stomach churn. Damion turned his head slightly to notice a large wound on Aloysius’s arm; the blood began to soak into his clothes.

“Aloysius……how did you get that cut” Damion questioned.

“I was attacked by one of those wolves….. I barely escaped”

“How did you escape?” Aloysius stopped and looked to the floor.

“Mr Crockett saved me; he used his life to save mine”

“You mean……” Aloysius sighed.

“Yes, we were attacked by two of them. Mr Crockett shot and arrow into the ones heart and let me escape. He wasn’t so lucky on the other one.” Aloysius stared at the floor before continuing “Anyway, let’s honour that life by saving ours, let’s move” Damion nodded and they carried on to walk through Domine.

 

They got a fair distance through the village before Damion noticed something else. A small silver point appeared out of his top.

“Hey” Damion said. “What’s that?”

“What’s what?”

“That silver point”

“Oh this! Mr Crockett gave it to me, Said it would keep me safe. He insisted I take it”

“What is it?”

“A medallion of some kind, he said it was made of silver” Damion took the medallion and eyed it noticing the familiar ancient pattern on the medallion. “He told me I should wear it and never take it off, so I better do as he say” Aloysius took it back and put it round his neck. They walked Damion still stumbling with his wounds. They carried on walking through the fires, thatching caving in, the buildings collapsing around them, the constant fear surrounded them. The managed to take a few more steps, but suddenly Damion became limp.

“Ummmm Damion?” he didn’t respond “Damion, no Damion no!” he called at him desperately trying to get him to reply, “Right we are both going make this whether you like it or not”. With that he pulled Damion onto his shoulder and began to carry him, the strain became apparent in his face, He gritted his teeth as he painfully carried Damion. Aloysius breathed a sigh of relief as he saw the road to Alexandrite, he slowly made his way, feet heavily hitting the ground, until his efforts were paid off. He had made it to the road. He lay Damion to the side of him and sat down taking deep breaths. His eyes began to close, finding it hard to keep them open, he spluttered a final cough of blood hitting the arcanous dirt and passed out on the road.  

 

Damion:

This is the last night I could be normal, thinking everything was over, oh how wrong I was. But how wrong could I be?

Reviews

[Admiral Kirk]

Wow... 0.0 The book's pretty good, but this would make a wicked awesome movie... :) It's really graphic and descriptive. Disturbingly so, but well done. :)

[Traci]

I just began this and am quite impressed with your style of writing. Very descriptive and you make the reader feel as if we are a part of each scene. Definitely looking forward to finishing this up. Great job!

[Jetta Zippora]

Lovely description. I would only say that I think if more dialogue could be added sooner, then it would get my attention faster and keep it there. I like serious action or something going on at the very beginning of a book, especially a long one. :) But this is very beautiful and I understand why you would use a lot of description. It's a new world for all readers. In my opinion, for people who get easily distracted or restless though, some sort of real conflict should break out in the first couple paragraphs. You have plenty of room to set up the stage. Just a thought, friend. :)

[Forgotten]

Thank you for your review, I am glad you are enjoying this and I do understand your point as well :) A little bit of action at the beginning would be nice, but if that is your kind of thing keep an eye out for the second book in this series, I'm beginning to write it :)

[Mia]

I am envious of your ability to describe things and set the scene. It’s incredible. If I may I’d like to point a few things that will hopefully help.
“The boy led down amongst the wild flowers” did you mean lay instead of led?! Lol, you like the word however, it’s your equivalent of ‘like’. “Poor peasant” isn’t that a little bit redundant. The your should be you’re in “tell him your ready to”. The froze should be frozen in “he was froze to the spot”. “Damion kneeled next to him blood soak his linens, the sight, he will never forget.” an instance where a long sentence was not so easy to understand. I sometimes was not sure who was speaking.
Hope this has been helpful, I’m off to sleep. I’ll be back to review some more soon.

[Forgotten]

Thank you for your review, it's actually helping me edit my book, this helped me finish the first chapter anyway :) Now I just need to edit the rest :)

[Mia]

Glad to have helped :) eeeek...editing is the worst :(
Good luck...I'm planning on reading more chapters when I have time. After seeing how it ends I'm interested to see what happened.

[Forgotten]

Well I can only hope you enjoy it then :) and yeah I've only edited to chapter 4 so far :/

[Mia]

I'll let you know what I think :)
*Palm to face* only 17 left.

[Coyote Poetry]

The chapter is amazing. I like the storyline and the flow of this story. You brought me in with strong beginning and held my attention to the last words. I like the description and the situations in this story. Thank you for a excellent chapter.
Coyote

[absolutefolie]

I really like this, the characters are great. Well done :)