Theoretically

It has been a little while since I have written anything but my current feelings.

Theoretically I know how to give CPR 

Theoretically I can press upon your chest through solid caged bone 

and breathe into you again air 

You see when I was six I theoretically knew how to ride a bike

So my dad took off the training wheels

I hopped on and 

Fell on my a*s onto hard concrete.

And my father helped me up 

Scuffed knees and broken pride  and explained 

My theories weren't enough 

Because if breathing were a theory I think I would forget to come up for air 

If blinking weren't something of a fact all I would do is stare

At life and the theories we use to live that slowly become our law 

But theoretically I knew how to love

Because when it is all that you see in the purple prose of fiction 

How do you forget that actions are just ink blots on trees long gone. 

Because I remember telling someone that fixing a broken heart was like replacing a car tire

And that just like when you attached the new wheel to the axel your heart too would be new again 

I had a theory that when I was kissed it would be perfect

And that fireworks would go off, and that I'd lean in and he'd stay forever in that moment with me '

My first kiss was like falling onto concrete. 

Like cuts from grainy pavement fresh and stinging in warm air 

Like being punched in the face 

Because I no longer had a theory for what 'love' really was 

Like scientist our lives are like test's

I want to find a theory that I can use for everything 

An if than statement that will make me solve the ache of old anger and resentment that lingers 

and bakes in a crock pot for a party that starts long past today. 

I want to find a formula that can help me forget all of the failures that mar me like scars

Something that can take away plaguing dreams and suffocating nightmares of my failed theories

Author's Note

This poem needs more I feel but right now i'm ok with it. I feel it definitely could use improvement though.