Broken Lines #2

Broken Lines #2

A Poem by CookieMisfit1969

The vastness of the world,
I can hardly comprehend
Yet I find myself out of words
To sugarcoat this pain

© 2017 CookieMisfit1969



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This is very succinct and clear. It makes the meaning very sharp and focused, which is really nice. One thing that I see as "not working" is that you have an "i" uncapitalized, which I thought was a stylistic choice until I realized that the first letter in every other line is capitalized and another "i" in the poem is also capitalized, so I would try to stay consistent, whichever direction you go with that. Good work, this is a nice example of a short simple poem!

Posted 2 Months Ago


CookieMisfit1969

2 Months Ago

Uh, yeah the i is an accident. I was in a hurry while writing it. Thank you for the review!

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53 Views
1 Review
Added on September 28, 2017
Last Updated on October 20, 2017
Tags: Pain, world, love

Author

CookieMisfit1969
CookieMisfit1969

Philippines



About
Hey there! Nice to meet you! CookieMisfit1969 here. I'm a 16 year old emo writer who keeps spouting nonsense when I write. Just a random kid you bump at the street and don't spare another glance. I'm .. more..

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