The killing floor

my soul cried
such a sweet thing

like lambs
to slaughter.

you command
the killing floor

your tongue cutting
me down to size

while I am left
a bloody mess

a heart, out
side it's body

still waiting for
you to notice me.

Reviews

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Deep in its hurting Izzy. A flowing digestible pathos filled piece.

[Island Hippy]

Mahalo John

[duff]

Damn. Now this is intense stuff. Even after being leveled our insides are still screaming to be noticed. Verbal warfare. Never fun.

"you command
the killing floor"

That is a powerful line and overall a sick piece Izzy. Nicely done.

[Island Hippy]

Mahalo duff I appreciate your visit.

[duff]

You bet my friend!

[Wórdsmíth]

ah... sometimes, the love never sees what's already found before eyes until it's gone. today, half of this world only care of having sex. once you gave your s***s to your partner, he/she hardly stays in your life for long, may be, it's just life and we -- the humans -- are fond of new and luxurious things. we need new things every day to keep life running.. and it makes us all blind enough not to see the poor heartaches or the "value of old things" we walked through. ah... sometimes, males ditch/dig on females so sometimes, it's nasty females who cheat on filthy males. that's life... and it's certainly such a "KILLING FLOOR". xo

very interesting and eye-catching stuff it is.

[Island Hippy]

Aloha, it is nice to read how someone interprets a piece, it gives poetry life I think. This is not really reflective of anything personal, just some musing and inspired by a song by the same name. Mahalo for your time it is appreciated :)

[Wórdsmíth]

'a'ole pilikia.
i would ev'n like to know the name of the song, if it's okay with ya.

[Island Hippy]

It's an old blues song originally by Howlin Wolf, but here is a link to my favorite version of it, featuring Hubert Sumlin.

https://youtu.be/9tEVB-t04OU

[andrew mitchell]

one has to be rejected so many times before success in dating lol but at least we are not from the mantid family where the female bites off the male head after sex.

[Island Hippy]

Mahalo Andrew, that made me chuckle.

[Paul Bell]

Growing up is torture. Maybe why it's called growing up. When you're ready to be noticed, you'll be noticed. Though these days love is just a click away.
Where has the fun gone.

[Island Hippy]

Mahalo Paul, I really appreciate your time :)

[J Manuel]

The tongue cutting down the soul like a helpless lamb analogy in reference to relationships is written with such spiritual awareness, nicely done.

[Island Hippy]

Mahalo Nui, I appreciate your kind comment J.

[Ana Papaya]

The slaughter of purity. It feels like that.
Lambs are so innocent yet they are made meals of.

[Island Hippy]

Mahalo Ana

[Ana Papaya]

You're welcome Izzy

[ms. barrie]

amazing write!! i love the brutality and chaotic vulnerability you've incorporated into this!!

a very creative take on those whom lack any empathy with their callous tongues. brilliantly captures bitter betrays all can relate to.

thank you for sharing - x

[Island Hippy]

Aloha :) thank you so much. I agree the tongue can be lethal. I appreciate your comment. Izzy

[Einstein Noodle]

ohh man! how many time as a young man did i feel this pain and helplessness ... yeouch ..and i'm sorry ..but young ladies don't need words ..its that look that chops off the legs as neatly as a cleaver ;}
great stuff ..well said .. the economy of words is admirable
E.
ps very dramatic title ..it effected me the whole way through .. making the cut down so much more deep and horrific

[Island Hippy]

Mahalo, I appreciate your thoughtful review and generous visits. Izzy

[LostBoy]

A WOW piece containing softness and hardness equally. Strongly expressive. Your words are a feast to my literary eyes tortured by too many words too often. The agonized journalist. ..Writing creatively and letting it go is my only escape
OR reading awesome poems by felllows.
Take care, R.

[Island Hippy]

I'm sorry I overlooked this. Mahalo Nui I appreciate your thoughtful words.

[LostBoy]

No problem at all
Course