The Bird and The Mouse.

I wrote this for my boyfriend a little while after he discovered that I was suicidal when we first met. I still like to read it every now and then.

I fell in love with you because you were an amazing bird, and I was a simple mouse. We were the same size, and although we were close, to me…

 

It seemed worlds away.

 

You soared up in the sky, and settled in stretched trees, while I was stuck on the ground, always in fear of being stepped on by those larger than me. You were like a mouse with wings. The sun would always shine from where you were, and occasionally, a little bit of light would reflect off your wings, and land on the dull concrete that was my home.

 

That light was heavenly to me, and I cherished it so. You gave me hope, you gave me joy. You were the only one able to make me smile, but from in the sky, how are you supposed to notice a little mouse like me? How could you ever see my smile?

 

Whenever you came down to the concrete to feed, I felt privileged. From up close, your being was even more astonishing than from afar. Was it because you were so close? Or was it because everything on my half of the world was dull and grey, and merely highlighted your being?

 

I was fortunate enough to have no other mice to compete with, but I knew why. All the other mice were after the good-looking rats and rodents and mice, of whom they could relate to. None of them dared to fall in love with a bird, let alone one as incredible as you.

 

I wanted to be with you, I wanted to become you, I wanted your silken wings to curl around me, I wanted to collect crumbs with you, I wanted to live up in the sky with you, and I wanted to tell you that I love you…

 

Of course, wanting that much made me feel guilty.

 

The other mice began to realise that I had fallen for a bird… A bird! If I fell, I believed that you wouldn’t be able to catch me, because I was already on the ground, and you were in the sky. The other mice seemed to highlight this. Everywhere I looked, I saw couples.

 

Mice and mice. Birds and birds.

 

There was never a bird and a mouse. Because of this, I inevitably began to believe that I would never fall in love. I would never be good enough for a mouse, let alone a majestic bird. For what felt like forever, I crawled along the concrete, believing I wasn’t good enough, believing that I didn’t deserve those rare moments when light reflected off of you... I didn’t deserve any of it…

 

Then, you came down to the concrete again. Not to look for food. Not to look for water. Not because you had to cool down. Not because you wanted all the mice and rats to stare at you. Not to give your wings a rest… It wasn’t any of that. It was something unbelievable, and utterly fantastic. What you did wasn’t logical, and even now, I’m still trying to figure out why you did it in the first place…

 

Why did you ever leave the beautiful sky, and come down to my cold, grey world…?

 

You came from the heavens, the beautiful, blue heavens, and landed beside me, on the dull, icy concrete. The mice stared, the rats gaped, but I was unable to see, as I was blinded by shock. Why would you choose a dirty, tiny mouse like me over a beautiful, colourful bird like yourself?

 

You began to spend more time on the ground, and your thin legs began to grow used to the hard concrete. You smile at me and I smile back. I love your smile, it’s warmer than the sun. It’s as if the sun is reflecting off your wings again, even when you’re stuck on the ground. When the day draws to an end, however, you have to return to the tall trees to sleep, it’s your home. In the end, you’ll always belong in the sky, and I’ll always be stuck on the ground. You have a choice, you can go to the sky, or the sea, to a forest, or the trees… Yet you always come back to the ground.

 

I wish I could fly. It’s not because I want to feel the wind rushing past my ears, but it’s because that’s where you are. If only I could fly, you wouldn’t have to come down to the ground. You say you don’t mind, but I knew the sky was better than this place. I gazed at the sky, looking at the beautiful birds, but none were more colourful than you. One day you smiled your warm smile, and said that one day, you’ll take me to the sky. You said that no matter what happened, there would come a day where you took me to the sky. To think, I never really believed you, but I didn’t mind that much, because mice weren’t meant for the sky, they were meant to be on the ground.

 

Even though I never believed you, even though I forgot that you ever made that promise, you were still able to fulfil it…

 

I held on to your back, and I stared in amazement at the blue sky. I had thought it was beautiful from the ground, but when it was like this, it was brighter than I could ever imagine. You showed me wind and light and beauty, and even your home. Your nest was the only one in the tree, and you landed inside it. My feet felt so out of place on the soft nest. To think, me, a mouse, up in the sky? All of me felt out of place. I felt so dirty amongst the beautiful green leaves. I didn’t belong here, with you…

 

That’s what I believed, but then you told me something… You made me blush, you made me smile, you made me feel warm, you made me happy, you made me feel like I actually had a reason for living, for I had almost forgotten that I had a purpose. You told me, you told me….

 

“I love you.”

 

I reminded you that I was just a mouse, and I didn’t deserve you. You merely shook your head, and said that there was another way of looking at it. To you, I was pure. You felt like a mouse with wings that had been splattered with bright paint, whereas you believed I was a pure, white mouse. You believed that the dirt and mud splattered all over me just highlighted my white fur. I could see in your eyes that you were embarrassed, so I lifted my head and looked you in the eyes for the very first time, and said

 

“I love you.”

 

I know we’re not really a mouse and a bird, but we seem close enough for me to write this, and for you to know it was about us. I wasn't meant to get attached to this story, but in the end, I did, just like how I got attached to you. Now, this story… It’s no longer about us, because it reminds me of us.

 

Every times your wings unfurl around me…

Every time you give me a peck on the cheek…

 

Every time, my tail flicks up in happiness, because I’m with you, and that’s where I want to be. I want to stay here, in your nest. I never want to go back down to the concrete…

 

I want to be with you, the mouse with wings…