A Trundle of Dead Leaves

Yardwork, and preparation against negative perceptions about my external life, when my inner life is so different.

A trundle of dead leaves

   in a wheelbarrow.

A clean, orderly back yard.

The rake-paws freshshshshshshshshsh in the dirt

To prove I'm not as broken

              as my visitors might think.

Halfway through the day,

breathing alcohol fumes,

      trundling leaves,

           emptying them in the woods,

You'd think I'd trundle back

      with an empty wheelbarrow.

But it was full when I parked it,

      cradling my dead leaves of perception

          in its rust-cratered bucket,

when I sat down to write this poem.

Author's Note

This might be another poem like 'sailboats', now that I tghink of it. I mean to say I'm unsure about it, but I like it personally. Need input, it's meant to be brief, but to give a glimpse of what goes on oinside while doing mundane daily tasks to try to keep up appearances.

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i think this is more than just mundane tasks to keep appearances...i think it is a really good metaphor for how we clean up inside, and two seconds later, we are full of the same baggage we just got rid of.

sometimes the leaves never leave the yard, no matter how much we rake it...or fake it...what's there is there...

the "im alright" facade that often doesn't fool anyone.

they may pretend, but they see the hurt.

i love this poem...

and the dead leaves all come out in my poem...

always something there to write about.
should we burn the poems after we rake the words together?

jacob

[Ees]

I love it.
I understand it.
I can picture it.
I don't feel as though I need to say anymore.
Fantastic job!

[G!o]

I love the use of metaphors and how you structure your poems to flow with the note behind every line. Quite creative and imaginative but most of all i adore the originality. Good writing Dyer...

[InkSlinger]

The imagery is brilliant. If only the my wheelbarrow wasn't filled with could of, should of, would of... perhaps I'd lend it to you!!

[Baby Ricochet]

Nice piece. Interesting tie in

[Pearlie]

Love it!~
Beautiful imagery and description.

[J. Viands]

I like how you compare your inner self to outside things because as long as the outside factor is changing it is always original another job well done

[Pratik]

Loved it! Use of very nice metaphors...We often put up these acts in our lives to get on with other people even though our insides say something else. We also tend to judge people by their external appearance disregarding that the truth may be something else... You have conveyed this with great finesse. I think its perfect.. it ends on a vexed and perplexed note that sums up the very essence of the piece! Nice work!

[Kenaz]

This is a really good one. What I like about your poems are the sounds that you make the reader imagine. It's a very cool effect. Even though the leaves are a metaphor I also enjoyed the fall theme.

[Extant]

Compared to 'Sailboats' I like this much more. The line "cradling my dead leaves of perception" I believe you could have done something differently there. Simply "cradling my dead leaves, in its rust. . . " might have had more power. "breathing alcohol fumes," that line seems misplaced, though I'm not sure it's a bad things; its a twist and it is a footprint of you, I like it.

[James William Dyer]

I think you're right about cutting out the "of perception", it tries to explain what the leaves symbolize when those leaves are best just described, under-noting something vague but real at the same time. Thanx for the input.

[Extant]

You're welcome, glad I could give my input.