Hope

Where are you now?

Why all the tears?

Don't let the dark 

awaken false fears.

he's only sleeping 

Lay down and rest.

Your journey is still long.

It's not time yet 

for your last swan song.

you'll meet again

Night falls too hard?

Fill your soul

with hope from the light of the stars.

You're not on your own.

he will be waiting.

Sail forth again

A new dawn's breaking

it comes to show you the way

Is your heart still aching?

he's holding your hand

What do you see

over the glimmering ocean?

A distant shore,

new  life on a far horizon.

he's smiling on you.

Author's Note

Second try. Any constructive criticism welcome.

Reviews

[quinfinn]

i love the way in which you tantalize with images and references in this, and it makes me want to sit at my notebook and create. good effort, big strides for a second effort. you do have it within you and you spill the beans nicely! keep it up, please...

[Neon]

Hey! Loury! I hate seeing someone as beautiful as you feel "Sad".. be happy, pretty.. Your cool!
Yeah! This poem's again about love and love never ends because love's 'Immortal' and it's we who sometimes make it 'Mortal' by hurting 'Angel's heart .. anyway, love makes life beautiful if a man knows very well the feelings, the pains of the woman as well as how to keep woman far away from her tears so that she could stay happy for life.

Your emotions flickering into the piece to let every-one hear the beat of your smooth heart.
Wonderful poem once again!

[emmajoy]

Moving from life into death? Seems you're weeping at someone's absence but know full well that dear person's waiting for you somewhere. This is a meld of sadness and hope finely expressed.

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Beautifully writen, very enjoyable read!

The use of questions to draw the reader in to the dramatic monologue is very effective. The punctuation is interesting and consciously arranged, with the single line interjections insulated from the main voice somehow.

[Sean Allen]

Interesting, you seem to like writing about the ocean. I am wondering who "he" is?

[Tate Morgan]

This was a great attempt

[Mark]

Only changes I would recommend are, first, a mixed tense in the fourth stanza: if the dawn IS breaking, then it COMES, rather than CAME. Second, same st., Does the last line need a verb?: IS your heart still aching?
Good job with the rhyming! You're making phenomenal progress!
Enjoyed the message as well; Take things in your stride, and look to the long view. Whether "He" is God or a lost loved one matters little; your source of strength will not fail you, as long as you persevere. Nice!

[Black Cat Fever]

I got a deep senses of sadness on one part as it sounds to me like someone is very ill or has passed and I also get a senses of hope because they are not alone on their journey to a better place that is waiting for them. A very beautiful and hope filled poem.

[Dream Weaver]

No criticism, just praise, Beautifully written
as well as an enjoyble read...Nicely done :)

[Rohan Tandon]

I luv it... It's very soothing, and u hav painted a very delicate picture for your readers. It stands out because somehow it can instill hope into anyone who reads it. Thanks 4 sharing this brilliant piece of work.