Please Break My Heart

I�m starving for attention
And I�ve built up my walls from within.
So the signals that I�m giving
Say there�s nobody going to get in.

Am I so scared of losing love
That I push it all away?
The life that I am choosing Lord
Is a lonely price to pay.

***********
Please break my heart Lord.
It�s crusted over. It�s so hard to let go.
Please break my heart Lord.
Just break it open and let the love there flow.
**********

My emotions and devotions
Are all safely locked inside.
And there is no key which goes to me
To unlock all that I hide.

I don�t think I even know myself
Because I�m always on display.
When I really want to reveal myself,
I can�t think of the words to say.

**********
Please break my heart Lord.
It�s crusted over. It�s so hard to let go.
Please break my heart Lord.
Just break it open and let the love there flow.
**********

M.J.S.

Reviews

[Angel Bird]

--- AWESOME! ---

[DiamondNRough AKA Patty..]

When our life has been taken, how are we to know ourself who we are. The things we have been forced to hide overcome us so that we our self can not reconize ourself. Another Great Write!

Safe Hugs

[Raef C. Boylan]

A new angle on 'the broken heart'...breaking to let air in and love out...I like the concept, and you've expressed it really well throughout this whole poem/song.
I think I agree with Shawna Powell below re: the commas - but it seems like you want us to pause, either for rhythm or for atmosphere...so maybe five line stanzas instead of four could help solve that?
The direct honesty and sentiment of this make it quite a moving piece; the longing is very clear.

Overall, good write.
Thanks for posting it.

[Shawna Powell]

good piece to relate to, and very catchy, I like it.
I've noticed in some of the lines, especially the longer ones, you've added a comma in the middle. Maybe for the effect? but it's not needed. I think the lines flow better without them (:

[Blackbirdsong]

Here is another one that reads like a song lyrics and the message...BOY can I can relate to that one! Great job here.

[Laura E. Aranda]

F A V O R I T E
WOW.....I can feel the yearning and so many times before this day have quoted this poem in my own words not like this but so parallel...WOW
I LOVE IT!
I REALLLY REALLY DO.....AMAZING and HEARTWRENCHING