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Reviews

[Hope's Etro]

Nice Job!!! ^.~, as a fellow Shakespearean writer(tragedy, sometimes uplifting; but mostly tragedy)' I have to say this is really good...Same as Samuel Jack though, I see were " and the air is hot, but your skin is frigid would come into play. But I like your style just the way it is

[Legolas]

Very nice poem. The contrast between the seasons is what I enjoyed the most. You manage to convey a lot of feeling into a few words. The movement from happiness to complete sadness is very powerful. Keep it up!

[koty bell]

Very shakespeare indeed alot of time went into this i could tell by ur splendid words in this write...great stuff

[Samuel Jack]

Its a good contrast poem, but I cant help feeling that the last line of stanza's 3 and 4 could be a bit more varied or at least worded differently to distance them a bit.

obviously its your work so do what you like.

How about this for a different ending for stanza 4

and the air is hot
but your skin is frigid

Rubbish I know, but just an idea. Its already a well written piece.

Good words Victoria

Regards

Samuel

[Speak in Silence]

I actually thought the same to be honest with you. I felt like the 3rd and 4th stanza could've been a bit different but it was just a spur of the moment thing!
Thanks for reading!

[Samuel Jack]

No worries. शुक्रीया बहुत धन्यवाद

[Panda11598]

Wow, this is short but very touching and powerful... Very well written and your thoughts were really planned out and it flows nicely. As someone mentioned before, the seasons and your partner's touch is so creative. I like the idea of it, but it's also sad, in a way.
I also like how you ended with fall, as you began with it. By time I was done reading this I was able to picture this and in the last bit, I just thought "Wow I really should review this!"
Basically this piece shows how you and your partner drifted apart as the year went on, as most relationships occur. In the beginning it's all nice and sweet but by the end it's completely different.
This is one of my favorites of yours, keep writing!

[Speak in Silence]

Thank you! You keep on a-writin too

[Slug]

I really like the contrast between the change in weather to the change in your significant other's touch.
To me the touch resembles the affection that person gave you.
The last stanza brought the whole poem together, fulfilling the cycle of seasons much like the cycles we start and end with our lovers.

[Myenigma]

I like the short story, the personification of temperature from a person changing, throughout the seasons.

[Westminster Abbey]

I like it. It kind of has an eerie sense about it.