Flourescent

Flourescent

A Poem by Ally Monique
"

Sometimes, we fall in love with peoples vulnerability

"
Black silhouettes with whiskey in hand,
We are-
the dying flicker,
in these cosmic, sky-ridden lights.

Laughing louder than the fires flames,
we had-
made love to the thought of
infinite, vacant instances.

And for more than a single moment,
I was-
falling in love,
with the fluency of your vocal chords,
and the vulnerability in our veins.



© 2014 Ally Monique



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Featured Review

Firepits and dancing ...flames
in the night's eyes -
starlight so bright the mind
blinks with tears
each tomorrow's morning.

I've tasted sunrise
in moments that haven't come
and left noseprints behind
on the glass of those that did.

I guess love is what we do
best
between moments of dark and
silly lost smiles
and wishes on falling stars
as footprints fade away.

Chris

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ally Monique

3 Years Ago

wow, beautifully penned! :)
Love is what we do best...I love that
Thank you again!
Chris

3 Years Ago

We try so hard to be understood ...or heard... or noticed... or to stay - hidden. And then we get a.. read more



Reviews

Love is sometimes all too fleeting but nonetheless exciting in the moment...I guess that's where that song Love the one you're with, was thought out...'laughing louder than fire-flames'...brilliant line.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ally Monique

3 Years Ago

Thanks Frieda P for the thoughtful review :)
Frieda P

3 Years Ago

Pleasure was mine Ally, I muchly enjoy your style. :)
Ally Monique

3 Years Ago

Thank you! I really enjoy your style as well! :)
vulnerability, vacant instances...
timing can be everything...i have had this kind of love.
circumstances dictate....both of us vulnerable..even if it is a love that is not for our own good...and down the line will find itself too soon burned out.

excellent wording here. "the black silhouettes...whisky in hand" again, that vulnerable state.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ally Monique

3 Years Ago

Thank you Jacob! Your reviews are always so intricate and insightful :)
Another stunning poem Ally. I could feel this as I read. Vulnerable to your words. I liked this alot.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ally Monique

3 Years Ago

Thank you!! :D
Firepits and dancing ...flames
in the night's eyes -
starlight so bright the mind
blinks with tears
each tomorrow's morning.

I've tasted sunrise
in moments that haven't come
and left noseprints behind
on the glass of those that did.

I guess love is what we do
best
between moments of dark and
silly lost smiles
and wishes on falling stars
as footprints fade away.

Chris

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ally Monique

3 Years Ago

wow, beautifully penned! :)
Love is what we do best...I love that
Thank you again!
Chris

3 Years Ago

We try so hard to be understood ...or heard... or noticed... or to stay - hidden. And then we get a.. read more
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Jo
I like your use of form. I love the way you take the outline of a relationship and interlace it with more complex issues to arrive at a neat portrayal of mans' fragility in the face of the universe?

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ally Monique

3 Years Ago

Thank you Jo! :)
Ally-- this piece feels like stars and fireflies to me... simple and complex, close and distant all at once. The gestalt is so poignant! Well written!

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ally Monique

3 Years Ago

Wow, brilliantly worded! Thank you so much! :)
I think it's that hero complex in some of us.

We want to protect those less vulnerable, if it happens to be a very good looking man with a nice personality then all the better.

Beautiful flow and imagery. : )
Enjoyed this one Ally.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ally Monique

3 Years Ago

Thank you very much! I think vulnerability is beautiful! Thanks for the review :)
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Sky
Wonderful to read specially the last stanza's

And for more than a single moment,
I was-
falling in love,
with the fluency of your vocal chords,
and the vulnerability in our veins.



Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ally Monique

3 Years Ago

Thank you very much! :) Your kind words mean a lot
Sky

3 Years Ago

Welcome friend!
Read the reviews, too. I think the whiskey image works so well as it would pick up a bit of light, hence your flicker, and like you say, gives us more of ourselves and less'
"sky-ridden lights" - interesting image.
I like the adjective 'vacant' in the final line of your second stanza, especially after 'infinite' which, suggests great scope, in relation to your references to the 'cosmic', but then most of space is empty, after all.
fluency and vulnerability - oh the freedom of it.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ally Monique

3 Years Ago

Thank you very much! Your interpretive analysis is really beautiful and deep! I'm grateful you took .. read more

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Added on June 30, 2014
Last Updated on June 30, 2014

Author

Ally Monique
Ally Monique

MA



About
Keene State College '18 Psychology Major. Writing is a beloved hobby of mine. "Everyone experiences who you appear to be, few experience who you really are." more..

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