In that moment

Just sudden 1am feelings about things I should be over....yet I'm not.

The moment I realized I loved you.

It's been forever since I've written to you. 

It's been at least a moment since I realized I had forgotten about you. 

But sometimes that moment sneaks back up on me. 

Not just lurking behind my back like some dark creature...

But like something burried deep inside my soul, 

something that I'm never sure will go away.

Something that with everything inside of me,

burns.

It burns in a way that will not let me forget what we had, 

what I felt,

 what I still feel. 

There is a pain there, 

a permanent scar that will never fully disapate. 

It may lighten,

 it may hurt less. 

But it will always remain. 

You punched a hole through my chest,

 and no one willl ever be able to fill it. 

No human being will ever compare to the way I felt; 

The moment I realized I loved you. 

You weren't even there. 

Standing there in my kitchen, 

realizing that you were all I thought about. 

All I wanted. 

All that I craved. 

I realized that I was willing to give up absolutely everything I had,

everything I knew,

just to entertain the thought of you. 

In just one,

 small moment;

I fell in love.

I realized you could be all I would ever desire,

all I could ever need. 

In that moment,

I fell in love with you. 

In that moment, 

You broke my heart forever.