Safe and Sound

 I remember tears streaming down your face when I said "I'll never let you go."
 

When all those shadows almost killed your light
 

I remember you said, "Don't leave me here alone"
 

But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight..

I couldn't do it alone.

I was really Megan's only friend.

Her family knew she wouldn't make it to her birthday in June, so we threw her a last birthday party.

It was the most incredible party.

As she was dying I told my own friends about it, and one of them attended the party with me.

She reminded me of it the other day.

It's been 3 years.

The thing is, all the memories are all slowly coming to me.

I blocked them out and now here they all come swarming around.

It's like there are a million arrows being shot in the air.

They are all aimed at me. There is no more hiding.

I'm being struck with  them each every day.

It's unavoidable.

These memories are colorful. Vivid. Real. Raw. Sad. Painful.

They blur into one.

The florist.

Watching movies with her.

Eating Cake.

The weather being a record high for March and April. 70 and 80 degrees.

Summer weather.

I went on a road trip with my friend.

We returned home late at night. In the morning I went downstairs and found out Megan had died.  

I remember running to the window and looking up to the sky the second after I heard the news.

Then I called my friends and we frantically made the rest of 1 thousand paper cranes for Megan's funeral.

Her obituary was all over Facebook.

The people who bullied her or didn't give her the time of day were suddenly claiming they were her best friend and were so close to her.

Bullshit.

Absolute Bullshit.

How could all of her taunters do this? How could all the people who ignored her say this?

Perhaps everyone grieves differently...but it was so sad how she had to die to receive kindness and some recognition.

I remember the first time I saw her body.

It just looked like she was sleeping.

I was the last person who was with her before her casket was closed for good.

Then came the funeral.

The cemetery. Her mother giving me a white rose to put on her casket.

After that comes the worst of the worst memory.

Mothers are always right. Always.

My mother told me not to look.

Beep!

Beep!

Beep!

A dump truck loaded with dirt suddenly appeared. I noticed everyone turn around or begin to leave.

I watched that truck dump the dirt filling up her grave.

It was so painfully careless.

So very wrong.

Inhumane.

A girl who I shared secrets with and laughed with was now buried deep in the ground.

It's been 3 years.

One of my favorite things to do is to go buy a balloon.

I write a message to her on it and drive out to the cemetery.

I let the balloon go up to the sky.

It is honestly the most liberating thing!

With every death there is a birth.

I'll always remember how many years Megan has been gone by looking at a little boy I love to pieces.

Cashton.

He is 3 years old himself.

To me, he makes these years more joyful!

He reminds me that his life has only just begun. It's about to get better.

Life is precious. It should be lived to it's fullest while we are here and alive.

It is a gift.

We are safe and sound.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzhAS_GnJIc