A Chapter by Kathryn Smith

There’ll be happiness after you

But there was happiness because of you

Both of these things can be true

There is happiness

Past the blood and bruise

Past the curses and cries

Beyond the terror in the nightfall

Haunted by the look in my eyes

I would’ve loved you for a lifetime

Leave it all behind

And there is happiness

In our history

Across a great divide

There is a glorious sunrise


And there is happiness

*Taylor Swift: Evermore �" (Happiness)


A few weeks ago I was moseying around an antique shop. Suddenly I heard the chimes of a grandfather clock go off. It stopped me in my tracks. Each boom of the chime brought nostalgia. As a child, I loved the sound of the chimes that the same kind of clock made at my grandfather’s home in Door County.

I remember the strong smell of coffee brewing at the peak of dawn. The time my brother taught me how to slither down the stairs on my belly like a snake.  (Sorry mom.) I remember the smell of the lake and the sound of oar boats coming in. The bridge going up to let ships through. The taste of salt water taffy from the candy shop.

Our memories hold so much. Good things. Bad things. There are moments we wish we could remember forever but they fade with time. And there are moments that never fade no matter how much we desperately wish them to. They stay with us like an imprint on the soul.

I am writing this book to help myself heal. I am writing this book for women. I am writing this book to talk about the lessons I have learned in love and life. I am writing this to share my experience with clergy misconduct. And I am writing this book in the name of compassion and empathy.

There is beauty in brokenness �" even if you’re stepping on eggshells along the way. 

© 2022 Kathryn Smith

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Added on January 8, 2022
Last Updated on January 8, 2022