He's

He's looking at me with puppy dog eyes
his eyes , his eyes I can't describe

He's touching me with his delicately cruel hands, his hands ,
his hands
he holds my heart in his hands

He's kissing me with his soft full lips
his lips ,
his lips are like nectar from the gods

Hes holding me close to his tall lanky frame
his body he joins with mine

He's saying my name in my ear, his voice-
his voice is the most beautiful song 
I have never heard

He's walking , he's walking ,
he's walking
out my door never to return ?

I'm dying , I'm dying
I'm crying , I'm crying

He's laughing,  he's laughing his beautiful laugh
as he closes the door

Looking down I see the blood from
his oh so delicate 
cruel hands

My hearts blood , my hearts blood
my hearts blood , drying there

Author's Note

Old notebook poem when I was 'emo' I guess
just a broken heart type of poem when you think he or she is THE one . I used repetition quite a bit, i know it just came out that way so i left it ..
Old writings bring back memories... no idea why i wrote this or typed rather in red.. i guess for blood

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

The poem is outstanding. I like the story in your words. The repetition made the poem stronger and alive. So many of the lines stood out.
"Looking down I see the blood from
his oh so delicate
yet cruel hands"
A outstanding poem. Thank you.
Coyote

[Jibey]

The repetition works well to give it a kind of song-like effect... like an old ballad...I enjoyed it

[Eagle Cruagh]

Sometmes we just remember love,
no particular love, just that we experienced
that incredible feeling.
He made you feel like a Princess. She made me
feel nine feet tall. You don`t remember his name
and I don`t remember hers. Thank God that time
steals away some of the hurt, but we hang on to
the good times when someone liked us a lot.

----- Eagle Cruagh

[Mauricio Montoya]

Very visual and I can fell the emotion.
Excellent write.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

That was amazing way to describe the heart ache of being played in a lovers game... those repetitive wordings really added to the impact...

My hearts blood , my hearts blood
my hearts blood , drying there

and the ending, well pardon the un was heart stopping.

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

the repitition works very well here to drive the emotional point home~ the points of pain from the male are like those little pointed stars ninja's favor~ quick and slicing and opening wounds before the victim even knows what's happened~

[KatiePie]

It said not for 18 or under but I read it anyways :( sorry
I couldn't resist >w<
hehe oh well, I loved it, really I did, it was beautiful and your use of repetition makes it flow in a gorgeous way.
I love your work my dear it's always so stunning

[Tai Chi Italy Take Two]

The repetition works very well in this 'emoesque' poem Chloe. Young love is such a painful experience, isn't it? The first time the heart is broken we think it will never heal again, and possibly it doesn't! we change and adapt to cope with such experience. I would say, Men can be such barstewards, but women can be too! lol

Smiling at you

Tai

[Fran Marie]

Glad to happen by this poem, some of the old writings
you forget about all of a sudden aren't so bad after
all~

I also like the repitition; it adds strength and a touch
of drama to this fine piece~

WeLL DonE!

[Iota]

Ha this is the second poem in the row I have read tonight where it is love in the beginning and hurt in the end. Must be a trend and hopefully not a sign. looking over my shoulder. Ahem.... This read like a song, I can hear the music behind the lyrics. I like how you wrote this is was good use of recalling previous words and transforming them into another related though made me feel the love and yearning before the hurt.

hmmm he did bloody her up well, geez. Great write.