Bulletproof

Dizzy. That's how you made me feel. Not in a way that made me sick but in a way that made me feel alive. You were a tornado that sucked me up in your path to destroy everything. I remember all those Saturday nights that I now keep tucked away in my closet. I only take them out when I really forget the way your voice sounded. All those nights we spent driving in circles. Drinking. Pretending we didn't fear anything. The way we would dance in the street to the sound of silence. The stars were fireworks when I was floating in your gaze. Your kiss was lightening. Others would laugh at our silly romance. How were we the only ones who didn't realize our house of cards were made of flash paper?  Soon we'd watch everything we loved go up in flames. But that's how young love is. You fight until there's only ashes left in your hands. We 'd share cigarette smoke and stories until we found the time to drift into this state of half love making, half desperation. I needed you. You'd lay in my arms and I'd whisper how much I loved you. And you'd laugh and say something about how love wasn't for the invincible. Invincible. What a funny word that is. I thought you were invincible. Here you are. Conquered and cold. Your face perfectly frozen and made up to mimic life. Forever young, isn't that what you wanted? To stay forever as this mystery that none of us could ever figure out. How dare you? I can't fathom why you left me. I long for your smile. I ache for your eyes to meet mine just once more. You. You with the big plans. You were going to leave this town in your rear view mirror and search for an infinity. Well, in a way I guess you did. Forever drifting searching for an infinity that may never come.

Reviews

[Will Neill]

I read this as well-mostly because I too am a story writer more so than a poet. I found this a very emotional peice, most likely wrote from experince (sadly) but that for me is the best way to write because we can convey better by having lived through it. In your other story I suggested you break it up into paragraphs-I think the same could be said for this, it would look better and read better-if it is either a poem or prose. These are just my opinion and I hope you keep writing.
Will

[Brett Pritchard]

This is such a moving piece of writing. I can honestly it taps into emotions and agonies that I myself know all too well. It's a splendid piece of writing and a vivid depiction of reality.

[Luke Rawlings]

Wow.. just wow. Breakup poetry, or poetry about loss is quite a common theme but you have written this with such beautiful imagery. " You fight until there's only ashes left in your hands" and "I thought you were invincible. Here you are. Conquered and cold." were my favourite parts. A brilliant, brilliant piece. Well done!

[Sami Khalil]

" I was floating in your gaze. Your kiss was lightening. Others would laugh at our silly romance. "
That is a real good one...Well penned...:)

[QuietlyCrash]

Thank you so much :)

[Sami Khalil]

My pleasure...:)