Unwritten: By A Teenage Girl

it only took but a few simple clicks.

one.

light reflecting off the body before it

making way to its final destination

electrons rapidly reacting

.. click. the final exposure comes into view.

mid click.. unevading thoughts.

 'unclad; bare body.

  unrecognizable.

  anguish and shame.

  stomach turning.

  my own conscious at war with itself.

  but.. i must!

or.. he wont..'

two.

almost an unheard sound. a metallic tick.

yet an echo to my ears

louder. louder. louder!

a blatant emphatic sound banging against my ear drums

irreparable. irretrievable! 

but i had to.

or.. he wouldn't..

yes. lies.

your mocking love.

your 'love'

an aid to my deception

so lost in your words that rang so true in every part of my body

your caress. 

and how it felt so real

when you held me in your arms

speaking your gentle words

all part of your master plane

oh! and the agony! 

how well it worked.

your art crafted over time into unmistakable perfection.

click.

new message.

 ... 'lies.lies.lies'

Author's Note

This poem is going into submission to be in a book so I would appreciate a lot of reviews, criticism appreciated just as much as praise!! I want to know the good and the bad, please help me out! thank you all!

also. do you like the title, if not. any suggestions?

the very last line, did i end it to quickly?

~ rae

Reviews

[DogEatingFlowers]

This is a great piece. Although, I have to admit that because of the title, I was expecting you to take it in a somewhat different direction. Lol. But I love it, nonetheless, and the emotion you put into it is fantastic.

[light and ashes]

I do get the feeling that someone has been played but I am not quite sure what happens in between. However, this poem is very interesting and I like it. I really like the tension building up also. If you could message me and help me understand better what this is about that would be great.

[joshua deathdealer]

This is very interesting. I love the form and well the story unfolded in my mind. Well done.

[Raya Avans]

thank you all for your reviews.. :)

[HeIsWe]

I really like this, its very interesting.

[hmm]

This is quite amazing, like the tension building up. wonderful write

[RienKelsoCinema]

I enjoyed it. I am a fan of tension. It really makes me feel nice to know you enjoy the same quality.

You're so talented....

[((Teenage_Poet_Loser))]

i simply cant get anything bad to say about it? i was sitting on the edge of my chair... i liked every single piece of it! probably cause i am still so young... and understands it.. i think leave most of it just like this! if peoms and stuff get to technical, it looses the 'poetry' feeling... poetry is about how u feel =]

[Dms]

I think I missed the cultural phenom of "sexting," if that's what the first part was about, but it was a very intense description. The need to do things you wouldn't do to please someone else, or to hope that you please them and then the cold realization that you're being played...I think most people will identify with that if that's what you're going for. (I don't read a lot of poetry, so forgive me if I'm completely missing things)