Freakshow and Me

How a person with an addiction may see themselves. Could be applied to other situations though. Hope you like it!

Me and Freakshow

Freakshow and Me

We are about as close as close can be.

Me and Freakshow

Freakshow and Me.

She loves the power

she has over me.

I despise her, however,

and long to be free.

Me and Freakshow

Freakshow and Me.

She is always there,

it's easy to see.

Ruining my day,

kidnapping my glee.

Me and Freakshow

Freakshow and Me.

She comes to me when I am alone

so we are more likely to agree.

She steals my peace of mind,

assures that I can't be carefree.

Me and Freakshow

Freakshow and Me

We are as close as close can be

Because

I am Freakshow

and

Freakshow is me.

Author's Note

Taking a trip down to the darker side of poetry. I haven't written much like this, so advice and reviews would be appreciated

Reviews

[DirectTangent]

Very nice. The repetition works for me, as this seems to be one of the elements of addiction - not escaping it but the over and over again return.

I wonder, though - just an idea to toss your way. It really works the way you've written, but I seem to want to linger in the fourth stanza and experiment. I thought of, "She comes to me when I am alone/so we are more inclined to agree./She robs me of peace of mind/and abducts my tranquility". There isn't any need to adjust, though - these are just random thoughts. I like this. The structure works for me, the use of repetition and, yes, there is a sing-song aspect to it. Nicely done.

[ReadsAtDances]

Wow! Thank you for wonderful review! I love the verse you wrote, it flows much nicer than the fourth stanza (that one gave me a lot of trouble :)) Funnily enough, I didn't even intend for the repetition to represent the addiction, but now that you mention it, I'm going to pretend like it was totally part of the plan (kidding). But seriously, thanks for a great review!

[Evil Duncan]

Happened across this a while ago and have been meaning to leave a comment.

An interesting exploration of addiction, but I initially read it as a more general examination of self-loathing. I liked Direct Tangent's ideas about repetition, routine and ritual as a part of addiction, and I agree with them that you could continue to experiment with this. But I also like the fact that this is raw, from the heart, and I think very much in the moment, so would say perhaps best not to mess with it too much!

Also as Jacob erin-cilberto said I felt it meant something to me because I could interpret 'freakshow' however I wanted and insert my own demons. Overall, I really liked it and it made me think.

[ReadsAtDances]

Thanks for the great review and feedback! It is greatly appreciated

[Alexanda Corrin]

Great poem! I love the repetition, it adds depth to the poem and commands attention well. Overall, your poem is very well written, the metaphor is excellent and eye catching. I like how you've made the addiction into a 'Freakshow' because the results of addiction can be like one. As said, it's very eye-catching, the title is the reason I chose to read this poem over your others.

[ReadsAtDances]

Thank you so much for the review and kind words!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i especially like that you never actually name it...that way we can put on our own freakshow...

our own addictions or demons can be penciled in...so the poem is universal, even with the constant pronoun reference of "me."

[ReadsAtDances]

Thank you for the kind and thought provoking review!

[Michael Stevens]

Very good, the repetition adds to the impact, at least for me!

[ReadsAtDances]

Thanks for the review and feedback! :)

[Flopp]

I like the use of repetition. It has a catchy ring to it, definitely sticks in your head! The rhyme scheme is also good.

[ReadsAtDances]

Thanks! I wanted it to read kind of sing-songy, but wasn't sure if that feel carried through the whole poem. I appreciate the feedback.

[jesserose99]

Really different...addiction is a hard one, but I like what you have done here. Really does steal your peace of mind. Like that line a lot. The repetition works.

[ReadsAtDances]

Thanks so much for the review! I wondered if the repetition was too frequent, but thanks for the positive feedback.