Halfway North with Purple Juice

Floating halfway North along the Ubangi,

And sipping from my juice box,

The black moon whispers, "motherland"

And I pray I'm not too far off.

 

The cool, purple-flavored liquid,

That trickles around my chin,

Slowly seeps through the wooden raft;

Struggling, earnestly, to join the river pure.

 

Much like my genetic material

(Traveling from Africa to Europe and last seen in America),

The oxidane in my juice,

Processed and chemicalized, is fundamentally water.

 

Poorly moored on the Eastern shore,

I free the remainder of my juice into the sea-

Sand molds over my feet, grabbing, urging,

And I am, deliberately, pulled in.

Reviews

[Salvatore Buttaci]

Congratulations for winning the Spiritual-Writing Contest!

Sal

[Tovli]

awesome use of metaphor. enjoyed! tovli

[C.J.]

wow nice poem the last line is my favorite pulls me in just ands up so well go entery to the contest.

[Gandré]

pure hears......are recognized ...wonderful mission.
but u shall visit the earth again......and tender speak the children's tongue....and
all is ONE in disapearing and the Earth aside; and we push the veil; everybody's sparkling eyes. ::: I enjoyed you so much.....
thanks
lara gandr�

[Dani California]

Brilliant. The metaphor is excellent.. purple juice..

This piece houses such depth, passion, history .... and a message,
that is quite clear.

"Poorly moored on the Eastern shore,
I free the remainder of my juice into the sea-
Sand molds over my feet, grabing, urging,
And I am, deliberately, pulled in."


Impressive work. Indeed....

[InkBlack]

Hey! New poem? AWESOME! Did you read it in Pressions last Thursday? If so I would've liked to hear it :) Anyway, even though it didn't jump out and say it, this was an unusually dark poem for you, especially in the last four lines:

"Poorly moored on the Eastern shore,
I free the remainder of my juice into the sea-
Sand molds over my feet, grabing, urging,
And I am, deliberately, pulled in."

The last line in particular has me wondering if the character commits suicide or if he simply dies, assuming he/she dies at all. I also kind of wonder about the significance of the juice box. It's not a bad symbol, it just kinda wanna know what it symbolizes and why you used it. All and all, nice work :)