Lost One

A more detailed version of a previous poem, called Paradise.

My teardrops pop like piñata’s in the snow below, reality's cold

I loved you so much the heat from my embrace made you melt away like my heart evaporate and fade away in the springtime shade

Leaving me grieving today in the fray of a gray memory lane you’ve engraved on my heart, like tattoo art, now they’re just taboo marks, cause I’m alone again

Can you still hear the voices that spoke as the choices drop like rain from the sky, the alibi, the lies, yesterday’s smiles?

The world’s lies piled high landing on my face, cannot erase the bloody taste of the sorrow I’ve borrowed as I waste away in the wickedness misplaced in the thick of this place, the space that is no longer graced by your present residence

You held my hand like a true friend before the torture began and I became the man that I am

I demand to stand by your side again, banded together like the chain link fence the suspended reprimanded sense that kept me away from you

Before I knew what to do, damned to look up at you as you walk away leaving me drowning in the rain

Soaked in my sadness, solitary in my madness

The world caused me pain, made me change, I’m not sure if you could recognize my face even recognize my name

I remain maimed, wish you were here to clean my stains of blood off the walls, push me back up when I fall

The fingerprints on the windowpane are in mint condition given the oblivion I’ve been living in

Wish I wasn’t shivering frozen chosen to part with the love you’d given

I never was a saint, your heart beat so faint

Now you’re far above my head I cannot fly but I’m obliged to try every rhyme or reason until the day I die and the wells of hell have run dry

Don’t know what I could have said, who you could have been, could I have dodged a bullet of led, seeing you lying dead, the sin, I am dying, I cannot begin to put you back together like a puzzle, I cannot sleep soundly in my bed without the killers muzzled

My eyes blood red, angry now, cold as the hills we played on with our sleds, the tears we shed cannot keep our souls fed, we were bred to be sent away, sure, but why can’t you stay another day?

Why did you leave me, what emotions had seized you, I believed in your heart start beating down the doors of heaven for you, did my love not please you?

Do you not feel me here screaming, believing one day I’ll see you beaming and this will all be a dream and don’t you see you complete me? Have you freed me from that see-through world of snow and now you think I’m beneath you? I’ll never leave you!

Come back I need you! I don’t want to bleed here where the weeds grew, the promises you knew, with the memories they slew, escaping fate hating as I'm waiting and watching every thought leave, you stole yourself from me

Do you not see I only exist because and for you? Does existence bore you? Did you lock the door to the core of your soul too? Was my love not true, does my sorrow not matter, are your memories battered by time, do they not matter like mine, do I have something to prove? Are you not moved?

Did it blow away in the cold rain, the shamed icy crusade shattered right on my name, do you blame me like the others just the same? Do you claim our love has been slain by my own blade?

I’ve been maimed, insane since being rebirthed in the dirt, hurt but not heard, yelling without words, living but can’t learn, giving but still yearn, cold but still burned

Quartered in thirds, murdered as the birds sing a lullaby, our love died like a sunset of regret and lovelessness in the moonlight night, the bright stars in the black sky

The feeling as slight as the white light that took you from me, your legs walking away deeper into your grave, down in the dirt you fade, why couldn’t you stay?

Your eulogy is torn and frayed, no blade can cut through the misery I feel betrayed you could have forgiven me, have you forgotten to believe in the armoured peace we weaved out of dreams seamed subliminally as I bleed the words I need to say but wouldn’t?

 I couldn’t protect you, now your shattered shards surround the ground melting all around I cannot collect your ash as you sink past in the stink of my pain, the link broken a bond I'll never have again

The sky blue, the air brisk, I would risk the world for you, missing the last kiss you gave before the grave

When the world made us brave the pain of being our own slave?

Between the glades of today, no matter how I pray tomorrow doesn’t matter, the past is battered, the world is blue tears, you were so dear, I fear to lose you, I couldn’t be sadder 

Spoken words often occur after they mattered

But I’ll build a latter to the sky to find my wife, the love of my life wherever you hide I refuse to say goodbye before I’m sliced apart by the knife of now's reality tonight the bite of the cold it is my right to freeze alone

Should I run or fight, should I be silent or write, is existing while you’re not here even alright?

And in my dreams how can the end be so snow white? Despite the chilling cold and raw ice, why does demise in eyes of god’s device look like paradise?

 

Author's Note

I very seldom reply to reviews, but I promise I read EVERY single one. I look forward to my next review because it helps me learn. Even if it's just one word, I promise, I will be ecstatic to have the chance to hear what you have to say. Whenever you write something about my poems, or the themes of my poems, or criticize me it is not in vain. I will listen, learn and be thankful.

Reviews

[LazerRays]

This is a nice poem I enjoyed, very sorrowful

[¿]

Reading it feels like if u had find her in front of you, you would've burst out all your gestures!!
And then she definitely would've melted.
It was great read sini!!

[wordman]

bitter sweet memories of a lost love,enjoyed it