My wall

Im fine right now, because I got help from a wall, this wall keeps all my secrets, regrets, failures, and other bad things. This wall might not stand to long, and I know it will break down, and when it does, then Im going to fall apart.
Its triggering how to know when its going to break, but I know its about to break, because there is too much weight now, and it wont hold much longer.
People know Im going through bad s**t right know, so they are amazed by how I manage to keep smiling, and well they just dont know that its a fake smile and that Im really not feeling anything at all, theres just the wall and the blanck space, and Im in the blank space waiting for something to wake me up, so sometimes I actually want the wall to break down in order for me to cry and let it all out, but again Im still in the blank space