Corned Beef and Cabbage

A college girl has fallen into an age gap

 

She hated that stuff. It smelled awful. Being around steamed cabbage and the overwhelmingly powerful scent of boiled corned beef never appealed to her senses. This was the last place she wanted to spend her weekend. The absolute last place on earth.

 

Her room was the only place she could find solace these days. This was the only time she could think freely and daydream, her mind pregnant with her rich future, waxing to the limits. It weighed heavily some days, reality dragging her back to earth, into the cold, mud that seemed to suffocate her dreams. That was where she wanted to be most in the world- with her thoughts, unwavering, going in a somewhat spontaneous direction but to her pleasure, taking her places that the world just seemed not to anymore.

 

She didn’t want to touch it. It was bad enough smelling it, but having to handle it and be in contact with it made her mood even worse. She tried, for her father’s sake, to behave herself, not to act spoiled or to give away that she’d rather be somewhere else. It was always best to give a nice first impression- a lie. All of the other young people were helping to serve the old people food so they could check out in two hours to let the new wave of volunteers in. They were young, indeed- younger than her, in high school. They were trying to get moving- move at the speed of light. When she and the two older volunteers were putting food on their plates, some of them had an air of impatience- not for the elderly waiting for their food, but so they could get their job done and get out of there. A few of them weren’t even paying attention- once she and the two older men were working on their plates, they would turn around and chat with others their age, trying to ease the day of volunteer work. She had to, on a few occasions, get their attention, and their minds back on the job.

 

“Hey, your plate’s ready.”

 

“Oh yeah, I hate her class…oh, thanks.”

 

“Ok, who’s next?”

 

“Man, she is FINE!”

 

“Uh…is this a child’s ticket or an adult ticket?”

 

“What? Oh, an adult.”

 

“Ok.”

 

“Anyway, did you SEE how that one dude tripped in the hallway! How dumb could you be?”

 

“Hey, here, you go.”

 

“Thanks. Yeah, and speaking of dumb, did you hear what they did on, ‘Viva La Bam’ last night?”

 

“Guys, keep that line moving.”

 

“Geez, he pulled a fire alarm…I wish I could do that!”

 

“Guys…”

 

“Yeah, and I wish I could paint you black and white and call you the Deranged Cow!”

 

“Guys…”

 

“I hope I don’t get Mad Cow Disease, that would suck…”

 

“Guys!”

 

“You think THAT’S bad? You wouldn’t BELIEVE what happened-”

 

“GUYS!” The two teenaged boys stared at her in shock.

 

“Your plates are ready for you,” she said, calmer, now that she had their attention.

 

“Oh. Ok.” The boys walked away, looking at her like she had just stepped out of a correctional institution. She sighed. The youth today. She didn’t feel like she was a part of it. Sure, she was in college, but did less than two years of college separate people that badly? Even in high school, she remembered, she didn’t really belong to a group, or feel accepted. For years, she felt so much older than she really was. She had her own marks of immaturity- unwillingness to take initiative, blatant disregard for adult financial responsibilities, the list went on. What she felt though was that she didn’t really connect with anybody. It wasn’t like she actually knew more than the people her age…but it felt like…she was just on a different level. Whether or not she knew something the people in her age group didn’t…whatever it was, it pushed her further away from her peers. There was something about her age group that was suffocating her. She couldn’t put her finger on it. All she knew was that if six o’clock didn’t come soon, she would have to amputate both of her legs from standing up for so long.

 

“Where do you go to school?” She looked up. The old man standing to her left was looking directly at her with his light blue eyes. He had a healthy shade to his complexion, even if his wrinkly skin suggested ill health. His voice was weakened by his old age, but it was friendly and it contained a full past.

 

“I’m sorry?”

 

“Where are you going to school now, young woman?”

 

“Oh…I’m going to that school down the street.”

 

“Oh. Yeah. I had a great time there. I took courses in English, and found out that was what I wanted to do. I also found out that I loved baseball, so I ended up becoming a baseball coach for my old elementary school. It was a great time. You know-”

 

“This is a special order for a child- only one slice of corned beef and an extra roll.” She turned her attention away from him to receive the plate with the one slice so she could pile on the cabbage and the potatoes. It wasn’t even one second after she passed the plate to the other old man to her right when she heard him speak again.

 

“Yeah, it was a great time for me. English was what I loved. I ended up writing so many stories for the literary journal there-”

 

“You wrote for the literary journal there?” The old man had to get his thoughts in order with her outburst.

 

“Yeah. Poems, short stories, essays, you name it. If I thought it, I wrote it. I felt so proud, writing all of those things, they were my pride and joy.”

 

“Do you still write?” She inwardly lifted an eyebrow. She was unusually interested in his past as a writer.

 

“Once in a while. I wrote a speech for my brother when he got married. They loved it and wondered why I didn’t become a novelist or something.” She nodded her head, not feeling the urge to speak.

 

“But writing was the joy of my life. I loved expressing my opinions and my ideas. I loved thinking up characters, sitting in their shoes and wondering, ‘If this person were in this situation how’-”

 

“Hey, I have two tickets for adults.”

 

“Oh, ok.”

 

“The first one- yeah, I know, that game was great! This one, put extra potatoes on it. And the second one needs one more Jell-O cup and- one of these days, you’re going to get it! Oh yeah, don’t put a roll on that one, you got it?” She looked down at the first plate, remembering what he told her, and feeling lost at whatever the other kid was babbling about. It was a good five minutes trying to get the order straight as well as trying to get their attention again. All the while, she expected the old man to forget what he was trying to say. She could remember what he was saying. But almost every conversation nowadays, if somebody was interrupted, they were permanently interrupted- if the conversation was interrupted, they had to start on a whole different subject. It was too awkward to start again on a subject that had previously been abandoned. Off with the old, on with the new.

 

“…For instance, I had one character- not too different from you, actually.” She snapped up, her full attention gained.

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah. Didn’t exactly fit in with the other characters, you see,” he said, stirring the meat around a little bit. “She was screaming at the top of her lungs the whole time. Nobody heard her.” She blinked her eyes.

 

“Why? Was it too loud or something?” The old man laughed.

 

“You might say that. She had something important to say. Nobody wanted to listen to her. So they droned her out by talking about something else.”

 

“What was she trying to say?”

 

“I never said.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because-”

 

“Hey, I have three adults and two children.” The smell caught up with her after a second, but not before she wondered what he might say. Didn’t what she had to say mattered? Didn’t that have any merit at all? What she had to say was the whole reason why she was screaming at the top of her lungs. Why didn’t it matter? She passed the plates on. Her father came up.

 

“How you doing, sweetie?”

 

“I’m fine, Dad.”

 

“Did you want a break?” She was going to respond the same way she did about an hour and a half ago- no. She didn’t want a break. Her legs were killing her, and they needed to relax.

 

“Honey, are you sure? I know you don’t like corned beef and cabbage, I figured-”

 

“I’m fine, Dad. I’m just peachy.”

 

“Just peachy?” he asked, humor in his eyes.

 

“Peachy.”

 

“Well, ok, then. Just give me a holler if you want somebody to take your place, ok?”

 

“Gotcha.” She kept her answer short. Her ears were aching with longing. To be satisfied.

 

“It didn’t matter what she had to say because that wasn’t my point. My point was that people don’t want to hear or talk about things that make them uncomfortable or-”

 

“Yeah, well, Britney shouldn’t have married him! I hope she gets her due! Oh yeah, two plates.”

 

“Adults or children?”

 

“…man did you HEAR about Angelina?”

 

“Hey, ladies?”

 

“What kind of idiot leaves Jennifer Aniston?!”

 

“The same idiot who actually wants to take care of somebody else’s kid?”

 

“Ladies?”

 

“I just can’t BELIEVE-”

 

“GIRLS! Are these plates for adults or children?” The girls stared at her, wondering why she didn’t care about what they were talking about.

 

“God, you don’t have to have an attitude about it!”

 

“Yeah, what a jerk!” She stared at the girls, wondering, Are you for REAL? You actually CARE about the intimate details about celebrities lives? No wonder people think we’re immature and apathetic! Because that’s just what we are- immature and apathetic human beings who WANT to be treated like adults when we have no idea what the hell that means! The first recognition of her separation appeared in that moment- owning her problem. She knew something they didn’t. So she knew they weren’t going to listen to her reasoning. Not to mention there were other people in line waiting for somebody else’s food.

 

“Look…I’m sorry I yelled at you, ok? Just tell me who the plates are for, and I’ll let you go on your way.” The girls looked at her, wondering how somebody could have a violent outburst and then to…actually control her emotions.

 

“Both are for adults.”

 

“Ok, then.” She filled the plates, feeling the juices from the beef and cabbage through her rubber gloves. It was pleasant to have her hands warm during the night.

 

The old man looked at her for moment, seeing the frustration in her eyes. There was admiration for a moment, glad to see she wasn’t going to take anybody’s idle chatter lying down. But he was searching for something in her eyes. Something that was supposed to be there. And he couldn’t find it. She could read the disappointment in his eyes.

 

“…they don’t want to hear or talk about anything uncomfortable, or anything that could make them grow up.” She looked down into the hot plate of cabbage and fought her tears. She felt terrible. She shouldn’t have yelled at them. Not when they didn’t know. But mostly, it wasn’t for the girls, or even the mass of teenagers coming through. It was for herself. When did she forget to be young? Why didn’t she have any memories of what it was like to be young at heart? Why did she have to grow up so fast? Why didn’t there seem to be time to slow down and enjoy being alive? What kind of a world was she killing herself for? It was the very world she was living in.

 

It was the last place she wanted to be.

 

 

Reviews

[DarkAngelWriter]

Icky. Sounds like me. Blech.

Yet I can't help but love it.

This is very interesting, the idea of killing yourself for the world you live in.

Love this part about celebrities though:
"Are you for REAL? You actually CARE about the intimate details about celebrities lives? No wonder people think we're immature and apathetic! Because that's just what we are- immature and apathetic human beings who WANT to be treated like adults when we have no idea what the hell that means!"

That's how I feel :P I hate it when people take such an interest in eveyrbody's lives but their own.

Good write though- real well done :) xx