This is happening now

This is happening now

A Poem by TLK

Previous Version
This is a previous version of This is happening now.



Look.

The sack of meat has eyes

Just like they do

But even though swollen

Red flesh puffs oozing

They are the pair that

Still seem alive.


Just like any wet sack

Redness tracks behind it

Red eddies lay sated

On the ground's lips.


The sack of meat has voice

Just like they do

But this one actually speaks

Its own words

Rather than another's.


It says, gasping:

“Do not abandon truth.

“Truth always involves doubt.

“Do not mistrust doubt.”


Its toes leaves a long line in the dirt

For so few words.


It says, spitting:

“Confidence in a lie.

“It always hurts others.

“This is happening now.”


Its knees leave a long line in the dirt

For so few words.


It says, praying:

“Ask your heart if

this is right ask

your heart for answers.”





Its blood trickled a long way on the ground

For even fewer bullets.


© 2013 TLK





Featured Review

a brutal poem. A vivid kick to the groin - so often we depersonalize, dehumanize or simply do not register the humanity. The bleeding masses are just meat sacks. I am a writer and have been for over thirty years - but I just puke up whatever indigestible leavin's of the day and call it good. Sometimes I might plate it a little differently but for the most part its offal. It says little about the human condition outside my own myopia. But this - this just sunk its fangs into my leg like a rabid terrier. Yup. Great write. I read your "about me - 260 reviews recieved? I know that I have given far more reviews than I have received here but I am planted in my corner at the cafe.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 4 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

TLK

4 Years Ago

You have gleaned the heart of the poem astutely. I wonder if we can consciously fight these dehumani.. read more



Reviews

So now you tell the reader you are talking about "truth".
You show how truth is slaughtered by the knowing dead eyes of the masses.
You show the "long line in the dirt" that is so obvious nobody stops to see where the blood trail comes from or is leading to.
My favorite part was, "Truth always involves doubt. "Do not distrust doubt."
I take this to mean question everything. It is not a lake of faith, it is the building blocks to rest faith upon. To have resolved doubt, one must first doubt.
Another fine mind bender.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Such a destructively constructive poem! Destructive for destructive thoughts, constructive for the hope and the endeavour. :)

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The scariest thing is that we seem to be getting to a point where losing human life is becoming just another "one of those days" thing... Accepting lies as the truth. Great one

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

TLK

4 Years Ago

Thanks for being concerned by what I'm writing: that's what I'm aiming for.
Abstract as it is, I relate this to the world at large today. As humanity and liberty gasps with intermittent breaths, the people turn a deaf ear. Good point you made here. Subtle, but loud.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

TLK

4 Years Ago

Heh, I like that. Subtle and loud is better than being brash and quiet!
When I read this I saw a bloody pile of meat (looking like someone had just run over another's face with a lawn mover repeatedly until all that was left was a bloody skull covered in fleshy puré but the eyeballs still intact). It wasn't a nice image, however it was a beautiful one.
The "meat-bag's" words seem like you've just tortured someone for the knowledge of the meaning of life, which is almost funny as the character seems to be dying. It is beautifully ironic how you use a character which is physically torn from its humanity to echo some of the true essences of being a human. It's such a simplistic way of putting it, as well - as the redundant countenances have been peeled off of its mind, so has its skin. Once again, I find that wonderfully suiting, and also quite funny -which does not diminish it of its power. If anything, it strengthens it.
It is so blunt how this unreal and quite abstract (although in reality, it really isn't that abstract at all) character is saying "This is happening now." as it really isn't -in the sense that poetry isn't real and how unrealistic the image itself is, but also how most of us don't seem to realize that "This is happening now."
The most wonderfully ironic bit of all is how it is *praying* (to?) us to ask our hearts for our answers, when we usually pray to ask God for answers. The word choice makes it all the more powerful as it questions God as well.
Wonderful stuff!

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

TLK

4 Years Ago

You've picked up on a lot of meaning in this poem: certainly more than intended. Thank you for being.. read more
This is very dramatic with lots of evil. Crazy i think that the evil is so clearly told through the non quotation portions that the words just echoed it. Sorry I can't give any decent advice like you did, but I like this alot.
i thought i would come check out your stuff writing since you were so kind to look at mine. thanks again for your help and the nice, not so nice poem.
Jessie


Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Mewling at the reproach, cascading in the pain of its long lost reverie, so much little spoken yet the hard truth hitting us over our heads like falling bricks, stuck within our minds, can we ever see?

A bloodied soul, beaten by oppression and tortured for a worthless, collective thought. That meat bag had a voice, once, we all heard it.

One person lost is a tragedy, yet a country blown apart in the midst of war is a victory. I have to wonder who ever established such invisible, uncrossable (in my opinion) lines.

I have to agree with TL. This is brutal and buzzes with the very savagery to which we've not just become numb but, also, we have learned to accept.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

TLK

4 Years Ago

You ask many good questions in your review: if only I knew the answers. Thanks for reading.
sometimes i look into the future and what i see frightens me, all these things really are happening now, it is time to wake up and act

you make a blood-red point of asking your heart for answers. Excellent work all the way around

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

TLK

4 Years Ago

Some points should be blood red. And, I guess, the speaker might be reaching out for the reader...

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Added on April 20, 2013
Last Updated on April 26, 2013
Tags: has eyes, has voice, just like they do

Author

TLK
TLK

Birmingham, West Midlands, United Kingdom



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Signed up to the Pledge to Civil Conduct in Discourse on Writer's Cafe: please challenge me if you think I am breaking either the letter or the spirit of the rules. I try to review well myself (see.. more..

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