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long and not longer

long and not longer

A Chapter by TLK

When times were better -- before you met her and decided that love's string was only so long and not longer -- our arms were stronger so we held each other more tightly, cat's cradles weaved around us. It was then that you thought of me and said I will build you a memory palace and into it you packed the smiles you filled like balloons on the hard days, compliments arranged as tessellated tiles, the promises you gave to build better tomorrows. I walk through it now, past windows that let in the light of crashed moons. I walk through it now, through doorways that guard empty rooms.  I walk through it now, waiting for the stones to fall and bury me.



© 2013 TLK



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Featured Review

Oy! That's some sad-reading stuff. May I suggest a follow-on piece where the "I" gets up and dusts the self off; perhaps sweeps up the broken moons and redecorates those empty rooms with something a bit more cheery. Perhaps some Wallace & Grommet wallpaper? And cheese... can't forget the cheese. ^_^

Posted 4 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

TLK

4 Years Ago

She'll probably let the balloons float free first... but not like in Pixar's Up.
UfoAuthor

4 Years Ago

Here's to free-floating balloons... that aren't mylar and don't span power lines in front of you, w.. read more



Reviews

very sad and lonely end here...interesting and woeful

Posted 4 Years Ago


breath-taking!

Posted 4 Years Ago


fhanks for the pm JLK, Watchdog, Jkh.., S, Alp et al. The dancer girl seems very nice and she was very tactful when she described you as "unpredictable" ; a nice way of saying ur raving bonkers.

Actually S you are very predictable, at this point you block the person and then show just how really vile u are with a few odious comments. LOL

Posted 4 Years Ago


0 of 4 people found this review constructive.

jkhatz

4 Years Ago

Pinky toe, otherwise known as the last toe, the smallest toe, on the human foot.
dim wit

4 Years Ago

thats a relief!
unsavable_soul

4 Years Ago

Relief: removal or lightening of something oppressive, painful, or distressing.
So where is th.. read more
Those falling rocks--yeah, they hurt. Been buried multiple times. Oh, well, what's person to do? The price of ecstasy always seems to be agony. Very well done.

Posted 4 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

A very good piece of art! Being emotionally overwhelmed.

'I walk through it now, through doorways that guard empty rooms.I walk through it now, waiting for the stones to fall and bury me" jUST WONDERFUL.

Posted 4 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

TLK

4 Years Ago

Those last lines were the easiest to write. The whole thing came out just to come to that conclusion.. read more
Oy! That's some sad-reading stuff. May I suggest a follow-on piece where the "I" gets up and dusts the self off; perhaps sweeps up the broken moons and redecorates those empty rooms with something a bit more cheery. Perhaps some Wallace & Grommet wallpaper? And cheese... can't forget the cheese. ^_^

Posted 4 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

TLK

4 Years Ago

She'll probably let the balloons float free first... but not like in Pixar's Up.
UfoAuthor

4 Years Ago

Here's to free-floating balloons... that aren't mylar and don't span power lines in front of you, w.. read more
"When times were better -- before you met her and decided that love's string was only so long and not longer " I have never felt such depth of story in such a short sentence, I feel like this sentence tells me so much and absolutely nothing as well as forcing me to ask myself more questions.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

TLK

4 Years Ago

Yes, this is definitely the best string-based metaphor I have ever come up with. There is something .. read more

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Added on May 7, 2013
Last Updated on May 8, 2013
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Author

TLK
TLK

Birmingham, West Midlands, United Kingdom



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Signed up to the Pledge to Civil Conduct in Discourse on Writer's Cafe: please challenge me if you think I am breaking either the letter or the spirit of the rules. I try to review well myself (see.. more..

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