Echoes of You

Echoes of You

A Poem by Relic

~Echoes of You~

Your ghost hides in corners of our wrinkled sheets
reaching out transparent hands to grasp at my foolishness.

I've never enjoyed swimming naked in guilt's sea - 
It leaves me dripping remorse.
It seems, death's formidable grip can trump a full hand 
of indifference every time.

The mundane, repetitious days of our existence
held me in perspective as one
too ambivalent to shake his disembodied shoulders. 

The scent of your demise to me seemed innocuous -
fleeting, and unable to bloom;

But, flowers - I've discovered - are fragile things 
that in a short period of time
will die from the slightest chill.

And I...unbelievably -
immersed in my neglectful, narrow corner -
unable to sympathize or relate to simple needs -
never noticed at all -
your petals -
falling one by one.

How often have men picked their flower in life only to ignore her later through the trials of marriage? Her tears like petals have fallen. Now, through her absence, he realizes too late, what he has done: Disregarded and Ignored his soul mate.

Your thoughts are always welcome.


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© 2023 Relic


Author's Note

Relic
Note to self: Changed the picture and a couple of words.


A quick note:

~~This is by far my most popular poem. And yet, it didn't start that way. Many young people are offended by advice or suggestions from others. They feel insulted that someone would critique their writing.

As for me, I came here not just to share my writing but to learn as well. If it wasn't for suggestions from Rick Puetter and Girl Friday (see below) I don't think the poem would have been as good. The poet Richard also helped me fine tune the poem and it is now--after all these years--(in my mind) complete.

We can always learn from other people as long as we know they have more experience and know-how than us.~~

My Review

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Reviews

Dear Relic,
that's a cruel last lase,
I see family and some are very young, and some are wrinkly, :D
But when you love, it doesn't matter.
I many aquaint see other so much older than I.
I'm happy to my destine treat, and then I'm grabbed for a hug, a friendly kiss. Not fun,
But I do love my elders. Nothing, more loving than grandma and grandpa,
a falling wilt, very beautiful twisted sweet,
love your read, great write!

Posted 4 Days Ago


Relic

3 Days Ago

Thank you, BPD.
1809 Black Plague December

3 Days Ago

you are most welcome, Dear, Relic, a great poem of yours, strong and spirited, like a stallion, and .. read more
The reference of flowers wilting and being fragile in comparison to the loss of love is done stunning beautiful with the haunting sadness

Posted 3 Months Ago


Relic

3 Months Ago

Thank you so much for your comment, PB. :)
Powerful and poignant. Great work.

Posted 3 Months Ago


Relic

3 Months Ago

I appreciate the comment, Thomas. Thank you.
Feels, whether from personal loss or inspired by it.

slam dunk finish.

perfect.

Posted 8 Months Ago


Relic

8 Months Ago

Thanks so much, Simbles. :)
Relic,

As a result of having lost my wife of 49 years, to COVID, I truly can relate more than you may ever know ... Excellent piece of Poetry ...

Marve

Posted 9 Months Ago


Relic

9 Months Ago

I'm glad it could help in some way. Thank you, Marvin.
Relic,
Your observations, insights and commentary are perfectly on point!
Vol


Posted 10 Months Ago


Relic

10 Months Ago

Thanks so much, Vol. Years ago when this was posted it was on another account. It had over 100 comme.. read more
Grief can spawn many things, and guilt is one of them. A part of the mind is quick to look back in judgment and hold court on perceived sins of commission or omission. Often this Monday morning quarterbacking is overdone, and I suspect that's the case here. The fact is we could all have done either more or less in any given situation, but obsessing over it does not bring back the dead.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Relic

1 Year Ago

I agree, John. Thanks for the read.
Sometimes poems can be altered and perhaps to determine the how is the why. I would rather amend or 'fix' a poem depending of the reasons why. So yes, I agree that input from others is important. And how we give input should also be done 'constructively' and with common sense. Many times the giving thereof can be narrow minded, one tracked, and uneducated in terms of the scope of the varying elements and circumstances that led up to a particular poem taking its present form. It's not an easy art and with all the input available to us the art of self-criticism is one most vital I believe, not criticising the self but the poem by the poet themselves with the support of helpful outside voices. Hope that made sense.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Relic

1 Year Ago

It did, and thank you, Frederick.
Splendid piece of writing, a sumptuous banquet of words, prepared with care for the consumption of passing readers. Hopefully more to follow…

Posted 1 Year Ago


Relic

1 Year Ago

I appreciate your comment, Michael. Thank you.
I came for the same reason - for criticism to help me improve. I am happy to see someone else shares that reason.
Btw, this again is a well-crafted poem. If you want to see one of mine, it is bring published tomorrow on New Verse News website.
W.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Relic

1 Year Ago

Never heard of that. I'll give it a look. Thanks.

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340 Reviews
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Shelved in 43 Libraries
Added on August 3, 2012
Last Updated on March 7, 2023

Author

Relic
Relic

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