Falling stars feel shame

Falling stars feel shame

A Story by TLK

Yesterday I was one god swamped by a pantheon. Our clay children pined for justice while imagining us wielding it behind the stars. Locked away behind the purple satin of the night I was captive to the gaze of those moulded crudely in my shape. They told their children stories about us, first of all thankful, then as generations rose and fell they became doubtful. As we failed to intervene we built up squat huts of recrimination with bricks of murder and accident. Endless death gave them hunger, and their knowledge of our creation helped them to realise, in their eager briefness, that the gods prized them as mere trembling moments of toil. Surer than any weapon, their disbelief weakened us.

 

Today I left that behind, for I cast myself out and let my godhood burn from me in a falling star’s trail. Now I look up seldom. Neither do I look over my shoulder, for I know what is coming: but at least I can now tell my children I love them.


© 2013 TLK



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I liked it. I felt that the language of it lent credibility. I felt like I was listening to someone speak who was actually, formerly a god.

You did a good job conveying the sense that the gods needed man but regarded them with disdain at the same time. A fairly common theme in tales revolving around the decline of monotheistic religions.

I am curious, in the last paragraph, in relinquishing his/her status as a god, does the narrator become mortal as well? I would think they do, and it is that combined with humanity no longer being a "necessary evil" that would bring them to say that they now love their children.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This is awesome. I'm a fan of astrology stories but this was pretty different. I loved that part "let my godhood burn from me in a taking star's trial." Like that phrase a lot! Would love your opinion on a story of mine.


Posted 1 Year Ago


Great piece.. I love your reference "built up squat huts of recrimination with bricks of murder and accident."

Thank you for sharing.

Posted 2 Years Ago


God deciding to become man, fascinating. "...for I cast myself out..."

This should be the start of something bigger.

I especially like the part 'As we failed to intervene...". So Gods can become frustrated as well by people losing all belief in them because of what is happening in the world.

Well done !

Posted 2 Years Ago


Very interesting. It really moved me. I felt the sadness but there is always a lesson to learn. It called wisdom. Am looking forward to reading more of your writing.

Posted 2 Years Ago


Very interesting piece. I will read more of your writing. I wonder how the other Gods responded.

Posted 2 Years Ago


An intriguing piece, It reminds me of the inevitable despair when one generation realizes the failures of their parents, and the inevitability of their own in turn, how we lower our expectations when we are forced to look in our own mirror. Very well done!

Posted 2 Years Ago


Wonderful imagery. There is such sadness woven into wisdom, of freedom in failure. You've brought it out beautifully. I keep re-reading just to marvel at your words.

Posted 2 Years Ago


This is really good. I had to read it twice to figure out exactly what it meant. I like how you portray belief to be important. Because i do believe that You need to put in faith in something/someone in order to give it strength.

Posted 2 Years Ago


This is very poetic and an extremely interesting perspective. It also is very mysterious. I think I know what it's about but I'm not entirely sure. Nevertheless, it held my interest. Thank you for sharing it.

Posted 2 Years Ago


Fascinating the way you write is really something that needs to be read. In a story-like manner you manage to create such a great atmosphere and give your reader truths. I love it.

Posted 2 Years Ago



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Added on June 1, 2013
Last Updated on June 1, 2013
Tags: pining, wielding, locking, captivating, thanking, doubting

Author

TLK
TLK

Birmingham, West Midlands, United Kingdom



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