Mothers day

Mothers day

A Poem by Alex Falkner

I wrote this not for my mother, but for a friend of mine as all her kids wouldn't be there on mothers day, sadly, I never did sing it and dance around like a moron as planed.


Cmon mum get up lets play,

 lets have some fun,

It's mothers day.


 Whoop, whoop,

 Whoop, whoop,


Cmon mum get your a*s out of bed,

Come and jive with me instead,


Whoop, whoop,

Whoop, whoop,


Don't just sit there sad and lonely,

Come with me we'll put a bet on the ponies,


 Whoop, whoop,

 Whoop, whoop,


 We'll get a gigolo with what we win,

 Promise you dad won't know a thing,


Oooh yeah,

Oooh yeah,


  Sorry mum, you're just too slow,

 Just been to the track,

 Got the gigolo,

 And just got back!



 Much funnier in my mind I think, The idea was to get dressed up in tight shorts with a pair of rolled up socks down the front and introduce myself as Jock the c**k.


 If anyone wants to steal this and make a fool of yourself for mothers day, please do, I would love to see it on YouTube.


© 2015 Alex Falkner

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Author's Note

Alex Falkner
Not my best work, but I hope it makes you laugh.

My Review

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Hilarious! You could do it next year, huh?

Posted 4 Years Ago

Dear Tammy

I thought I would turn up again and look at one of your shorter pieces as I am not well enough to do long at the moment, given my recent hospitalisation and quadrupled tranquilising mood stabilisers

Not sure what this review will be like until I stop typing;

1) Behind the humour, because we know each other as well as communication on this site or email allows, I can see deep regret writ large.

One need only look at your life story.

2) They say that comedy is merely the flip side of tragedy. Take a single event and you can look at the funny side or you can look at the sad side of the wound.

3) In terms of shape the chorus of 'Whoop, whoop', and 'Oooh yeah', works well as you try to funny it up.

4) In many ways you write like me. By that I mean, we both do serious and bitter writing, the dark side. Yet we constantly feel the need to escape it by balancing it with humour.

If I can get my brain in gear, I will try to get back to your Life Story.

Well done in attempting to novelise it even if it is only to put relevant pieces in the same bucket.

I know for sure you will get published Tammy one day.

Just bide your time, keep writing and test the market.

That is all as writers we can do.

This is the only sort of review I am capable of doing today.

I am sorry it is not better honed.

Just prescribed drugs and a dead brain.

In all friendship as ever


Posted 5 Years Ago

Alex Falkner

5 Years Ago

It's good to see you again James, I always enjoy your visits. :)
This one was written.. read more
James Hanna-Magill

5 Years Ago

Nice to see you again Tammy

Take good care

Your chum

It made me laugh like a loon.
I actually have a daughter who fits this poem perfectly...God bless her!
Great write, Tammi!!

Posted 5 Years Ago

Alex Falkner

5 Years Ago

Thanks, I glad you liked it. Lol.
I would have loved it if someone stole off with it .. read more
Oh god. 'Jock the C**k'?! Tamm, that's just disgustingly humorous as hell!! I would want to see someone do that! :D

Posted 5 Years Ago

Alex Falkner

5 Years Ago

I know, it's so naughty. Lol.
I just had to post this one in the hope someone does do it and .. read more
Anna L

5 Years Ago

Funny? That it would be. I hope someone does.

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4 Reviews
Added on March 26, 2013
Last Updated on June 1, 2015
Tags: Humor, mothers day


Alex Falkner
Alex Falkner

South canterbury, New Zealand

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