Dark Rider

The wind calls my name.

I ride in the rain,

In your direction.

I will ride, untamed

Until I reach my destination.

I dismount my dark horse,

A hate-filled evil force.

I step towards you,

Shaking, full of remorse.

You know you won't be forgiven, too.

I step to the ground

With hardly a sound.

You cower in fear

And you know you've been found

As I come near.

I draw out my sword,

As I step toward

You, my sword shining in the moon.

Your life is all I can afford.

I must be a silent spreading tune.

Reviews

[Chris Yip]

Excellent poem with rhymes that sound throughout it. Well done!! Interesting poem that tells of a warrior with a sword on a horse. Not too long and not too short, just the right length of read. Your style is developing and you have reached a high level writing skill. Do continue and congrats on your awards.

[-musicfunk-]

this is like a song to me
I think you made it by heart =]

[Jacob Mann]

I agree with the comment of you developing your style and getting better. Keep it up and I will be looking forward to your latest works. :)

[Jacob Mann]

I like the flow of this poem. Well done.
In the last line, if it were me, I would drop "you," and replace toward with forward to streamline the flow, but that's merely a thought for an otherwise effective poem.

[Charile]

Wow. Great job. I'm really impressed

[† Allybear!!! &d..]

This is a very powerful poem

[♋ Iris ♋]

Awesome, this has amazing imagery and is dripping with feeling. I am really impressed with this work.

[quarintine_deathangel]

The imagery is soo effective! I thought I was about to die XDD

[Philip Smith]

wow another great piece.

[Emily]

I really enjoyed this, even though I kind of took "You, my sword shining in the moon." wrong. ;) lol