Unfair

Expanding on the idea that telling lies should make you fat.

            Many people take the most basic rules this world follows for granted, as if this particular set of regulations our universe abides by applies to everywhere and everything. These people are quite small minded. While our world has its merits many of the rules in place are completely illogical and only serve as a detriment to progress. One of the more infuriating of these rules is the way people are rewarded for doing unquestionably deplorable things.

            In other places where the rules were reviewed more extensively and more opinions were taken into account things are in fact fairer. One world in particular which lays far away on the great plane of existence from ours actively punishes those who choose to hurt others or lie and steal. People who speak lies will grow fatter and fatter with every fib that passes their tongues, those who prey on the weak and actively subvert others for their own gain break out in warts and awful blemishes. And people who are greedy with their success and hoard wealth grow weak and powerless. This system works almost without flaw because any person you see with a hideous distorted face and shriveled weak body can easily be avoided. Kind and just folk are rewarded with strong bodies and beautiful perfectly proportioned features.

            Fortunately for George he did not occupy that world. He was almost completely self-centered; every action he took was towards his own benefit, he was lazy and spiteful and vain. Yet in this world just because his parents and their parents before him were attractive perfectly shaped people he inherited without moving a finger. He stood high above most of his peers and was athletically inclined, his metabolism worked in his favor letting him eat whatever he pleased and he wouldn’t gain an ounce. His eyes were an astonishingly pretty shade of blue green and all of his facial features were just the right size in comparison to each other.

            This fantastic body he occupied pulled him along in life without much effort on his part. He was not particularly outgoing yet people still sought out his company and laughed at his jokes. These of course were usually directed towards the many people who occupied shorter uglier bodies. These people found it terribly difficult to start conversations and make new friends, but he was without fear of rejection and had an inflated sense of self esteem because throughout his life people were pre-inclined to enjoy him being there. His few talents were blown out of proportion by his many admirers and put on display.

Later in life he found he had also been bestowed with the ability to grow a gorgeous full beard. This combined with his commanding baritone voice and wide shoulders instilled those around him with completely unfounded confidence in his decisions. He wowed college interviewers and later employers. He gained an easy and well paying job and rose in the ranks of the establishment; most of this can be accredited to the luscious beard alone. All the while his non-mustachioed coworkers needed to toil away at work for several more years than he before receiving any promotion at all.

He found a beautiful wife who bore him two beautiful children and one who was less beautiful. This was not an issue though as the least beautiful of his children naturally felt no compassion or really any emotion not concerned with personal achievement. Her psychopathic tendencies made her an incredible liar; she was far smarter than anyone in her family and eventually rose to a high position in government due to her considerable skill in subversion and manipulation of others to her will.

George died very fulfilled and proud. Something he very much did not deserve. In a just universe he would have occupied the lowest rungs of society. His fantastic life was nearly completely due to the fact that he was a small, ugly, despicable person who happened to occupy a tall handsome form. But fear not, someday these outstanding issues in the system will be reformed. Someday changes will be made and major adjustments will occur. Maybe in your lifetime this will happen, and small ugly people will no longer be allowed to fit within beautiful bodies.