Breathe In, Breathe Out

Breathe in, breath out
As long as you keep breathing
Atleast you'll know you're still alive
As long as you keep believing
Your fiery passion you can revive
Just breathe in, breathe out

 

Breathe in, breathe out
We just might come and save you
If you are able to be loud enough
I know your heart rate is slowing down
It will take all your strength; be tough
Just breathe in, breathe out

 

Breathe in, breath out
Raise a weak limb if that is what it takes
For us to see that you are the last one left
Hold on just a little while longer; don't break
Don't leave your family behind; bereft
Just breathe in, breathe out

 

Breathe in, breathe out
Were searching for you still
But you have to let us know
That you're still alive in this wilderness
You're presence you have to show
Just breathe in, breathe out

 

Breathe in, breathe out
You must always remember to inhale and exhale
To keep your body funtional and working
If you're dead, for us it will be of no avail
Out of the woods we will come lurking
Just breathe in, breathe out

 

Breathe in, breathe out!
Why has your body grown still
Have you really given up so close to the end
You've dissappointed myself and everyone else
You're wounds we were going to mend
Why didn't you breathe in, and breathe out?

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[N]

The story and the way you painted the words together was beautiful. Great read.

[Legolas]

Great job! I love the repetition. The idea is very good. A couple spelling mistakes...
1. First line, you forgot the 'e' on breathe
2. Fourth stanza, second line, there needs to be an apostrophe in 'were' to be 'we're'

[...]

Stunning wise words...beautifully written, like a pulse :)

[cynthiabuhainbaello]

A very delicate subject to write about and the poem was well-written with definitive lines that tell us how to survive. Good writing!

[Aehr]

emotional.. the repetition was nice... enjoyed it!

[darkness*star1985]

GOOD WRITE!!!!!!! i felt the emotions the Don't keep up we will find you, that we will save you..... i love this poem.......
Beautifully written

[eeoopig]

I love this poem, with the repetition - it works really well for this :) Just keep breathing and you can keep living. Hold your head up high, even if you don't feel like it! Gah! A blonde joke ruined it for me though - I won't tell it because I don't want to offend anyone. Good work, yet again :D

[Schyala]

Amazing poem!!! I really loved it! (And I'm not a fan of poetry, so thats a great compliment!) The only thing is i can't tell if you're trying to rhyme or not...

[Owlgirl]

Great job, it's haunting and the repition just helps that. Amazing writing.

[R.A. Youngblood]

This is kinda frustrating, sad and depressing to me, also emotional. I like that "Breathe in, breathe out" in each stanza, and i'm amazed how many words you found to make it rhyming. You are amazing writer! Breathtaking.
Thanks for sharing..Keep it up buddy :D