Graphite Dreams

Written in under 5 minutes, this has formed here as it came into my head. Not crossed and changed in pencil, but typed as I went. Not my usual style at all, but I think it's passable.... do you?

My words only appear in ink

When I already know just what I think

When I know what to say

and how

Ideas, moods and thoughts

hastily in pencil

with crossings and changes

new words

different words

hopefully better

Graphite is for dreams and wishes

until life's eraser comes

and leaves only a blurry stain of what could have been

But ink is for knowing

thoughts ready for showing

Often in rhyme

usually in rhyme

and metre

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I enjoyed this, especially the contrast between pen and pencil. To me, pencils are used for drawing or sketching a layout for a painting...a precursor to something more permanent. I use pen to write. I enjoy writing and reading the old fashioned way. My home is a library and a media center...more so since the birth of my third child. I want to give her the same joys I acquire from the written word. To address the question of "Is it passable?" Certainly I think so.

[Tinman07]

Thank you Fabian. I have a pair of 18 yr olds here... He is mini-me (not so mini)... with a love of words and word play, and also the house tech-support... She is Daddy's girl, twists me round her finger but although she understands language, doesn't express a love of it. Lord, she uses enough of it (...from her mother of course), but for her its a tool more than a plaything. I hope yours master its use and learn to love it.
Thank you.

[Shabeeh Haider]

Whatever thoughts that we pen down are passable. This poem has an easy flow to it and yes.....ink is for knowing.....thoughts ready for showing

[Country boy183798]

Very well done once again.
"Graphite is for dreams and wishes
until life's eraser comes
and leaves only a blurry stain of what could have been"
I really like that bit. The poem is also very ... tangible! I really enjoyed it, thank you for sharing.

[Tinman07]

Thank you, once again sir.

[fergul]

Written in under five minutes, and it shows. Passable, yes, but not memorable.

fergul

[Tinman07]

I agree, there is room for improvement, but still I'm happy with it.
As are others it would seem.
I accept your point, but I believe it stands and has worth in itself.

[Usman Muhammad]

Amazing concept.
The idea of eraser is thought provoking and interesting.
Each and every element describes its significance beautifully.
Keep writing sir

[Chris]

Seems some can "deal" with a mind's stream... while others work it and work it 'til they find their perfection - though sometimes at the cost of the thought that began it all. And for some, pencil is all the ink they ever held.

Our journals are quite "telling" of the who and how we are.

[Tinman07]

I usually need to re-work and tweak. My journal often just records possible rhymes and ideas I'd like to rhyme... then later pages can hold random verses as the mind streams.
This was a rarity and an oddity for me... but I like it all the same.

Thanks for stopping by.

[Chris]

Chuckling softly here - so many "seek" the elusive perfection - I draw with pencil - images I feel within. I write in ink - as the words fall and leap from behind my eyes. But I listen from within before I speak ...or write.

Glad I paused here with you today.

[Tinman07]

So am I Chris, so am I.

[Ghost]

beautiful. nicely done. really liked the title of this poem.

[Tinman07]

Thank you. It was a hasty piece which has never seen ink or graphite, just the keyboard. Different to my usual with rhyme and metre (and humour).
I think with more time and thought there could have been a 'vague imprint' instead of, or as well as, the 'blurry stain'?

[Ben Barton]

I really liked this. Only speak that which you would be willing to put down in ink.