Musings #02

Short instances, when there is a fleeting thought in my chaotic mind which I believe signifies something and I decide to pen it down.

I remember that starlit, cold night
The moon shining above
Shivering we held each other close
Your gaze penetrating deep
Like a razor cutting through my flesh


Your shifting glances were the sign,
Eternity and forever were mere words for you,
Filled with an illusion termed 'love'.
Haunting me ever since.

Author's Note

Reviews and opinions are always welcome.

Reviews

[Mister T.]

"Your gaze penetrating deep
Like a razor cutting through my flesh"
Mmh.. These words announced the turn, the other side of the story. At least, that's what I thought. Compared to the 'soft and warm' style you used before (starlit, we held each other close) it's like reality comes around the corner to say hi. Anyway, very realistic, emotional poem. Keep up the good work :)

[Blackheart]

Glad you liked this. And yes, your interpretation is true up to a certain point. The main dramatic turn of events begins with "Your shifting glances....." That's when reality strikes and you realize that things are not the way it seems.
Glad you stopped by and thank you for reading this Mister T. :)

[Ellen Kolman]

Wow! powerful...love your use of words...you are a master at imagery .... I felt every cut in this poem....loved it!!!

[Blackheart]

This really means a lot! A million thanks to you. Really grateful for your kind words. Thank you so much mam. :)

[Dead]

BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is amazing!!!!

[Blackheart]

Glad you liked it Miss Ruby. :)

[Dead]

You're very welcome

[TheMalady]

Hi! I loved this poem! great words and they truly seared my heart.

-Keep writing! :)

[Blackheart]

Glad you liked it so much. And yes, much more to come. Soon. :)

[TheMalady]

You're very welcome! Looking forward to it. :)

[Zyle Christian William ..]

I can feel the remorse in your words! Well written!

Your shifting glances were the sign,
Eternity and forever were mere words for you,
Filled with an illusion termed 'love'.
Haunting me ever since.

So good!

[Blackheart]

Thank you so much for reading this. Glad you liked it sir. :)

[Zyle Christian William Cook]

Of course!

[Solar]

The razor image is key to this poem - amidst the 'soft-focus' imagery [starlit etc], the poet has a razor-sharp insight into the nature of the lover held close.

[Blackheart]

Glad you liked that. And yes, tried to portray love and deceit. A phenomenon prevalent in our times. Was a bit cheesy too, I guess. :P
Still, thanks for stopping by. :)

[Solar]

Not cheesy at all - in fact the opposite - which is the point I am making - implied razor-insight and the portrayed shifty/slashy razor gaze. Quite subtle.

[Blackheart]

:D Thankful that it stood up to the perception I had while writing this. Glad you could decode that. :)

[Rye]

Loved this, found it deep yet sincere really.
Wonderful write from the pen.
Awesome!

[Blackheart]

Glad you liked it Jellybeam. Thank you for yoyr kind words. :)

[Aswin R Prasad]

Such a deep emotive piece of poetry!
Loved how you played with words in these lines :
"Your gaze penetrating deep
Like a razor cutting through my flesh "

And also loved how the last stanza was framed! :)
Brilliantly penned,Brother! :)

[Blackheart]

Glad you liked it so much bro! Just my thoughts here. I like to use a lot of similes wherever I can. Gives a certain spark to poetry. ;)
Thanks for dropping by. Cheers mate!
:)

[Aswin R Prasad]

Your always welcome brother!

[Tom27]

Deeply etched memory, coupled with the awareness of the shift of feelings of one's past lover. This poem spoke, and this is what i heard.

[Blackheart]

I appreciate your perception. Glad you dropped by. Cheers. :)