THIS HEART OF MINE

My heart is color blind
it sees no differences between black and white
For when they are placed side by side
They both look identical in its sight

My heart is a composite function
Composed of rainbow colours conjoined by integration
It's a medley of emotions
Which have come back home to nest
Confined in a prison of hibernation

Now i wonder...
How can a heart that loves despise the package in which it comes?
How can a heart that beats not recognise the sound which its feet reincarnates?
How can a heart that cares turn a deaf ear to heartwrenching crys?

No...the heart that lives
though calloused and bruised by roughing hands
Still oozes strength and vitality
Yes the heart that loves...this very heart of mine still lives...still cares

Author's Note

any positive criticism is very much welcome...

Reviews

[Darian Justine]

Love it!
As previously mentioned, the only thing I'd have to say is maybe take out the rhyming in the first part? Because it wouldn't fit with the rest of the poem or make much sense. So, try
"My heart is color blind
between black and white it sees no difference
for when they are placed alongside the other
they both look identical in its sight"

Any changes are really up to you, just giving some ideas :)

[Vanadis17]

thank you so much for that insight...will see what to do about that...

[Eve Marie]

Very good poem, I love it!

[Vanadis17]

thank you...am glad you love it

[De 'Anthony Subban II]

i like oyur word choice

[Vanadis17]

thank you very much

[De 'Anthony Subban II]

no thank you lol :)

[Vanadis17]

rofl

[De 'Anthony Subban II]

wat?

[Vanadis17]

it means...rolling on the floor laughing

[De 'Anthony Subban II]

your welcome

[Bertie]

An interesting and heartfelt (no pun intended...) piece. I would say perhaps don't have the rhyming in the first verse, only because you set up what appears to be an ABCB rhyme scheme only to disregard it in the further stanzas... Perhaps some more punctuation would be good as well, I struggled a bit to read it because of the lack of it... But that downs;t take away from the integrity of the emotion that it was clearly written with and the content which is touching and resonates with anyone who reads it...ONe thing that I would find really interesting is if you re-wrote it in iambic pentameter; the rhythm that replicates a heartbeat...But thats just something I personally would find quite interesting :) a very lovely piece; you are clearly talented and emotionally astute :)

[James Hanna-Magill]

Dear Vanadis17

All that matters in the end is that you care. You care deeply about your life, the people who inhabit or sidestep it.

Never give up caring or one day caring may give up on you.

You have the heart and soul of a poet. I see that in you.

Tell us what you think and how you think so that we all can learn more,

Acomplished piece,

Should you stop writing, you wouuld fail not only yourself but us all.

With my kindest reagrds

James Hanna-Magill