Ashes

good girl drowns,
in within
the monster comes out
taking all that she is
Insecure,
she hides
watching as the monster destroys
her life,
her friends…
world starts crumbling
it starts to fade
until nothing is left but ashes

Author's Note

Please Review
Tell me what you think. I know its short, but should it expand or leave it as it is?

Reviews

[manifesto]

Leave it as it is! The shortness and simplicity makes the message even stronger.

[al25]

I like the whole idea behind the poem. Well written.

this could be continued i think but end it in "until nothing is left but ashes" :> Relatable. .

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

deeply engaging poetic~ speaks of the dual nature in us all and our double edged capacity to either nourish or destroy~ very well done!~

[nono]

Interesting. I like it. For the moment you feel as nothing more than ashes blowing in the wind. Nice job keep it up!

[Aven]

I really like it... it blossoms in simplicity :)

[Anna]

I think you should do what you like to! It is great now!