A Lamentation

I wrote this to the tune of "Demon Host" by Timber Timbre. This is a poem that in short is an expression of anger towards God in the face of childhood trauma.

This is our last chance to grieve

Dear Lord, I was only thirteen

The host of trepidation freshly forgot,

You coerced forgiveness from fester and rot

 

Glass eyes, glass eyes, they saw his deeds

I spit up ashes so the flame could breath from my gut to my tongue

The seraph’s shriek, Oh! How it rung

When I was young you averted your gaze. Don’t peddle us antidote, We’re beyond being saved.

Don’t preach to me right from wrong,

Forgiveness was my mother’s song, But be mindful the canaries’ last breath

We’ve only got so many prophets left

 

Did you forget it was you who left me?

Raw guttural growls and howls, bellowed on my knees

I wheeze, strangled by our umbilical cord, but

She’ll be safe, here on my back, so long as I mourn

Author's Note

I would really appreciate constructive criticism, but being that this is the first poem I've written in quite a while and that I'm just now getting in the habit of sharing my poetry I request that any comments come from a gentle place.

Reviews

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Your lamentation have good dramatic flow. It's almost like song from ancient times.you express very clearly what is wrong . Emotions are also very strong there . But also I can feel sense of love that part when you talked about forgiveness. I simply like it . I am not professional critic and not even English native speaker so I cannot give you advice what should be approve. Have nice Monday.