His Eternal Love

A little poem I wrote about true love :-) (in my eyes)

His Eternal Love

He went to bed every night,

Aching for her.

Aching for her presence.

Trembling with grief.

Waking up every morning,

Mourning the loss of his eternal love.

Mourning his beautiful angel.

The love was lost,

Gone,

Buried deep in the dirty ground.

He wouldn’t ever get to touch that soft skin again.

Her skin.

Their lips would never get to entwine again.

Never again would he taste her.

That alluring taste,

The taste he had never been able to resist.

Decades after their sunder,

He held his last breath,

Thinking about her.

Only her.

His eternal love,

And he was sure,

Certain, even,

That they would meet again.

He was buried beside her,

His eternal young wife,

Friend,

Flirt,

Mistress,

Love.

She had been all that.

All that and more.

So much more.

She was... 

Her.

Author's Note

What do you guys think? :-)

Reviews

[Rhianne Ney]

You tend to write over things which you may've experienced or not,,,
So I applaud on the natural pose of the poem Keep writing (:

[CHRIS ANDES]

a true love indeed
=]

[metapendrius]

Next to perfect, really nice work

[Irvette Dauphine]

like this poem..
like the way you write this and this poem it self is great :)

[RYDER]

wow.... super kool

[Amanda]

love it :)

[Falling Leaf.]

Love poetry: most of it is very typical. This is in between outstanding and the norm. It's....a superb average poem. Your rhythm, I believe, is choppy. Some poems are accented by choppy rhythms, but this piece shouldn't be. In poetry, ending a line gives it a natural pause. Adding commas and periods gives the line an even more dramatic pause. In my honest opinion, you don't need so much punctuation. But, hey, if it sounds good to you, then keep it as is.

[afra]

great write